Page 138 of Knot Their Soldier: Part One
The haze of heat recedes briefly as I try to discern what he’s telling me.
Alone? I don’t think I can last another minute with the desperate urges plucking at my nerves. Surely they won’t leave me like this.
“No, please. Don’t leave me, Knox. I need you.” I rise on shaky legs, taking one stumbling step towards him, reaching out.
He’s shaking his head, looking at me with an emotion in his eyes I can’t decipher. “I’m sorry.”
Knox continues to back away. I don’t make it more than four steps before my legs collapse beneath me. I gather the fluttering edges of my O-space, desperately demanding it help me make my Alpha see the mistake he is making.
“Alpha, please,come back.”The Command is weak and futile. My throat feels raw, my skin sizzles, and the emptiness within me feels like a gaping black hole.
Knox shivers, his whole body convulsing as the Command washes over him like a caress. He licks his lips, looking down at me in my vulnerable state, begging him to touch me, and for a second, I think he might break.
He doesn’t. Of course he doesn’t. He’s the poster boy for following protocol. He clears his throat, pulling himself to full height and puffing his muscular chest out.
“Omega, stop. No Alpha is coming. Stay in the tent. Make your nest. You can come out when your heat stops.”The Alpha Command hangs in the air. The compulsion slams down like a wall between us, separated by his dominance and my submission.
I drop my outstretched hand, obeying his command dutifully.
Prime Alpha Knox looks like he wants to say more, but instead he nods resolutely and slips out of the tent.
As I sit on the floor, I wail in agony as though my body is being burned alive.
I scream. I cry and no one comes because I’m alone.
I’m a failure as a soldier, as an Omega, and as a friend.
Soon, the sniffling stops, and the heat is rising again. Slick is leaking down my inner thighs and I know I have to help myself because no one is coming to care for me.
No one has ever cared for me the way I needed them to.
I stumble from bed to bed, indulging in each team member’s unique scent. Burrowing my tear-stained face in their blankets, I inhale like a junkie getting a fix.
I drag their mattresses off the cots and arrange them in the middle of the tent.
A primal need overtakes me and I let my hind-brain take control. I place each blanket and pillow strategically until my senses reassure me that Blaze, Viper, Shade, and Knox are woven into my safe place. My nest isn’t glamorous, but when it’s done, I feel infinitely better.
I just hope it’s enough to get me through however long it takes for the suppressant to do its job. I’ve been told it usually takes a few hours to work, but this time feels different than my other heats, more intense with an almost desperate edge.
It’s because they’re near.
My Omega doesn’t understand why they aren’t here in my nest, helping me through each wave of unbearable pressure spooling in my core.
If I’ve learned anything, it’s not to rely on others. All my life, I’ve had to take care of myself. Know when to work with the system to get what I need, and when to fight like hell against it.
“I’ll survive this. I don’t need them,” I chant to myself like a mantra.
It sounds hollow and needy. I curl up in my pathetic nest of blankets. My core throbs.
“I don’t need them,” I whisper.
I’m slick between my thighs and my clit is a swollen bud of pleasure that my body demands to be touched.
“I don’t need them.”
The cool night air does nothing to lessen my rising fever.
“I don’t need them.”
