Page 118 of Knot Their Soldier: Part One
I’m so stupid.
The squad might find me attractive, but they don’t really want me. Not in the way my Omega craves.
He was just eliminating a threat to his squad. Neutralizing the dangerous pussy that threatens to destroy our newfound cooperation.
The realization makes me sick.
I swallow down the bile in my throat as I try not to cry.
Stupid.
I’m so fracking stupid.
“I’m going to wash off in the stream,” Shade calls over his shoulder as he starts down the hill.
“Wait, you’re leaving me?” I squeak out in shock, feeling vulnerable and lost.
He stops, but he doesn’t turn to look at me. His bare shoulders heave with heavy breaths, drawing my eyes to the jagged scar on his shoulder blade. I forgot he’s just as much a seasoned, trained killer as the rest of them.
“It’s a straight shot down to camp from here. You should be able to make it back without any problems. I’ll see you back there in a bit.”
And then he walks away.
I’m a mess of emotions, each warring for control.
I want to cry. I want to sulk. I want to seek comfort in Viper’s arms. I want to rage.
The anger wins.
And once that flood gate opens, it’s a rut-damn deluge of vitriol. It slams into me, a tidal wave of fury at every injustice in my life.
I’m angry at my family for never caring for me beyond a pay day.
I’m angry at General Stone for throwing me into this unfair situation.
I’m angry at Prime Alpha Knox for not being the gentle mentor I need him to be.
I’m angry at the squad for making me believe we’d figure out my O-space issue together, only to shut me out and refuse to tell me what is happening to my own body. And I’m pissed that I believed them.
My anger grows with each passing day as I endure the suffocating presence of sexual tension that permeates the atmosphere around these soldiers. There is no escape, no refuge from this onslaught to my baser instincts – not even in my sleep do I get a reprieve. They invade my dreams, seeding hope with false narratives of devotion.
Above all, I’m mad at myself for deluding myself into thinking I’m special to them.
But they’re soldiers, trained to complete a mission and follow orders no matter what.
Falling for their trainee isn’t part of the mission.
Neither is caring for her.
My inner Omega howls at my heartbreak, but I’m sick and tired of feeling helpless and waiting for others to call the shots.
My hands clench into fists.
Frack them all, and screw their duty.
If they want to play with my life, fine. I’m done acting like a victim.
I take a deep, calming breath. I won’t get what I need if I’m emotional, especially from Shade. He’s calculating and whip smart. I have to approach him with logic.
