Page 63 of All Your Days
Eli doesn’t have the same problems that I do finding the words. He kinda sums it up perfectly.
“Uh, yeah. That.” I can feel a blush creeping under my beard. Eli snorts, and from the corner of my eye I can see him shaking his head.
“I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t have the same fears, Jacob. But you’re forgettin’ somethin’.” He’s still focused on the wall on the horizon, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
“What’s that?” I’m nervous to ask.
“Together.” He says, the smile taking over, making his face glow as he tips his face to look at me. “We promised we’d get through this shit together. And I don’t go back on my promises, Jacob.”
My heart thuds dangerously in my chest, a bigthump, thump, thumpkinda feeling. I told him I loved him only last night, but he hasn’t said it back. Not yet. Maybe not ever. It’s killing me just a little, on top of all the rest of the uncertainty returning home’s gonna bring. For a second, I think he’s gonna say it. I think he’s gonna say the words back.
Our feet slow, our eye contact drawing long. But then he gasps, turning back to the road.
“They’re comin’!” His cry rings out through the flatness.
Sure enough, the shapes of the guards riding out start to become clearer. It’s all part of the standard protocol. They meet us out on the road to test us and make sure we’re safe to come home. Then, they ride back ahead to give Command and leadership a heads up on any issues. It’s the beginning ofan exhausting string of protocols which will keep Eli and me separated for too damn long.
“You see that, Lou? Almost home, mate!” Eli turns back to Lou, slumped over Sheba’s saddle.
“Yeah, too right. Bloody brilliant.” A heavy arm raises to give us a thumbs up, before dropping again, like it’s too much effort.
He insisted on riding today, dead set refused to get back on the bench. Said being upright was good for his health. I think he just missed the camels.
“You, uh, got any questions? About what’ll happen?” I ask Eli, my apprehension still eating away at me.
He cocks his head to the side, chewing on his lip as he thinks it over, giving me a flash of the bruising still around his neck. That’s gonna go down a treat with the docs over in medical when he has his evaluation.
Earlier today we covered most of everything about what’ll happen. About how we’ll be separated—me so I can go give my reports to leadership and him so he can help unpack the trailer before getting checked over in medical. As rough as he is, Lou’ll probably get sent straight there.
We’ll all be scheduled off for the next couple of days. It’s usual to get at least a day or two off to recover, but with our losses and the Rains, they’ll give us more than that. Though we’ll be expected to go talk to the docs about our experience and all of that. It’s something Commander Agathangelou takes seriously. And because we had a teammate turn, Eli and Lou will both be called in to verify my report, before the memorial is held for them in a few days time.
“Actually, I do have somethin’” Eli says eventually.
“What’s that?”
“Are we sleepin’ in your pod or mine tonight?”
I was expecting he’d ask what he’ll be asked when he gets interviewed by leadership, or something like that anyway. Hewas nervous about that earlier, especially when I said I wasn’t allowed to go with him—it could look like I was pressuring him to hide something. I really wasn’t expecting questions about sleeping together tonight. I’m so shocked I trip over my feet, stumbling into him and pulling Adeeko’s lead.
“Uh, we won’t be able to share tonight,” I mutter, the truth bitter in my mouth.
“What? Why?” Eli honest to God pouts, sticking his lip out, trying to drop my hand so he can cross his arms over his chest.
I don’t let him. I hold tight and yank him against me so I can kiss his stroppy, frowning forehead. He grunts and I try not to laugh. It feels ridiculous we’re even having this conversation.
“I’ll be in with leadership till too late. It’s gonna take a while to get things sorted there. But we can meet up first thing tomorrow, have breakfast together?”
The frown smoothes out, but only just slightly.
“Ugh. Fine. But tonight only. Gonna sleep like shit.” He grumbles under his breath and I resist the urge to kiss him, because if I start I’m not gonna stop, and the guards have almost caught up to us.
“Whatever you want, Eli.” I promise, and I mean it. “Whatever you want.”
“Wanna go to my room? I got somethin’ I wanna show you.” Eli whispers in my ear, leaning hard against me.
I swallow against the urge to groan in relief and manage a more sedate nod. His throaty chuckle fills my ear, followed by the brief press of his lips.
“I don’t care what you say, Huey, this is still weird.” Jessica cackles, as Eli pulls away from me.
