Page 49 of All Your Days
“We need to check on the camp. Come on.” When I’m finally done, Jacob wraps me up in his arms and we walk slowly back to the camp.
Passing our half collapsed tents, it looks like we were hit with a whirly wind. The destruction is centred mainly around the trio’s tents, on the other side of the fire to ours. The openings are ripped to shreds and bloodied, belongings scattered to the wind. The water tank’s been tipped, but thankfully not leaking. The trailer is still secure.
How did we sleep through this? How did so much damage happen? It felt like it began and ended in a moment.
All I know is Jacob’s paranoia kept us alive. I have no doubt about it.
Only two camels are still in the camp, Adeeko and Binty. The rest must’ve broken free of their ties in the mayhem. Already too close to breaking down completely, my heart squeezes painfully knowing that they’ll be out there in this, left to defend themselves. We can’t even soothe usually calm beasts. They are spooked and more wild than I’ve ever seen, pulling at their tangled ties. It makes sense, they’re carriers, too. They can feel the Rains coming, adding to their distress.
“Wait here. Knife ready.” Jacob settles me on one of the rocks we used to sit around the camp fire. It’s a strategic spot. I can see a boot, but no more than that.
“No!” I try to stand, but he shoves me straight back down. “I can’t just let you—”
“You will. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, Eli. Just let me do this.Please.”
If I never hear that devastation in his voice again, it’ll be too soon. I do all that I can do. I listen and I sit. To keep myself busy—and to stop myself from thinking—I unzip the emergency bags, planning to rearrange them and see what we need for what’s coming.
Jacob flinches when he checks on Malcolm, loudly gagging at whatever he sees. Covering his mouth, he ducks into one of the tents to retrieve a blanket, covering Malcolm up before checking the other tents.
“Lou’s gone.” He says finally, coming back to sit heavily beside me.
“D’you think…” I let the question hang there.
Jacob sighs heavily, his head resting on his arms crossed over his knees.
“I don’t know. He was prepared…but I don’t know.”
One foot in front of the other, that’s the unspoken agreement to get through this nightmare, but his words stop me in my tracks, packages of bandages in one hand and the emergency torch in the other.
“What do you mean he was prepared?”
Jacob freezes but doesn’t look up.
“We… we suspected. That there was somethin’ more goin’ on with Cale, more ‘an just heat sickness.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because we spoke to Ryan. Well, I did. Ryan told me that if we tried to lock Cale up for the night, or tried to restrain him, then he and Malcolm wouldn’t hesitate to protect their friend. And they were happy to use you against me.”
“Are you—how can—” Rage fills me. More rage than I’ve ever felt before, fueled by the secrecy and the infection. Dropping the things in my hands, I jump to my feet and pace to expel the energy tingling in my fingers and toes. I feel like I could levitate with the power of my anger. It’s an unnatural sort of feeling. Fueled by heightened emotions and the nearing Rains.
“You kept this from me! You didn’t tell me. I could’ve—I don’t know! I could’ve—I could’ve beenprepared!Fuck! And those fuckers! Now they’re dead! Because they were too stupid to—”
I can’t finish a thought, let alone a sentence. Fury steals my tongue. I want to go and spit on their mutilated remains. I want to kill them again. I want—Iwant.
Tears blur my eyes and it makes me angrier. I keep pacing blindly until I smash into a hard body. Jacob’s arms wrap securely around me, sealing me to him. In a blink my anger seeps into the earth, like he’s bleeding it from me.
The soft hairs of his beard tickle the side of my face as he squeezes me tight.
“I’m sorry. So fuckin’ sorry. This’s all my fault. I’m sorry.”
I fight against his hold, that anger sucking right back up into my body again. Howdarehe blame himself? It’s an outrageous thought, since I was just blaming him, but it makes me more angry all the same.
Jacob doesn’t let me go. He holds tighter against my fighting until my shoves slowly become punches. Only then does he loosen his hold—but only enough for me to tilt my head back and look up into his devastated, bloodshot eyes. Tears fall freely from the deep pools.
“Don’t youdareblame yourself. I only survived ‘cause of you.” Seeing him crack hardens something within me. I steel myself against the fear I feel. Fear that I don’t know what to do, fear that I will get us both killed, fear of what’s to come.
Each second that passes, the clouds come closer. We need to be prepared. I’m determined. Determined to keep him safe like he saved me.
