Page 64 of All Your Days
Our first breakfast together was nowhere near as quiet as the ones on the run. After the world’s shittest sleep—made worse after the interrogation-like interview with leadership—Huey caught me on my way up to meet Eli and once he found out where I was heading, he insisted on joining us.
That was only the beginning.
I expected Matty and Jessica to be with him. I even expected the ribbing about the bruising around his neck. But the news of our run had already spread through The Facility and residents flocked to our table to find out what happened, like it was juicy gossip and not some horror story we survived. That we got caught in the red rains only added to the drama for the residents—apparently the storm missed the compound.
Not even my angry glowering at everyone could stop them from pestering us. The lure of Eli’s friendly face was too strong. Throughout the constant—and sometimes rudely intrusive—questions he kept my hand in a tight grip in his lap under the table. Partly for his own comfort, partly to stop me from thumping the ones that asked the really gross questions about what it was like being in the Rains together.
“Fuck off, Jess.” Eli says with a laugh, then he stands, walking around the table to hug his friend from behind. “You can clear up after us, just for that. We’re out of here.”
“Happy for you.” I hear her murmur, squeezing his arms on her chest.
“Happy for you, too. And you, Matty.” Their pregnancy was confirmed while we were gone and we’d carefully toasted to their happiness amongst the visitors to our table.
“Good to have you back.” Huey clasps me on the shoulder, giving me a meaningful look.
“Yeah, it’s good to be home.” I smile back at him, enjoying the flare of surprise in his eyes. He nods, the meaningful look getting a little more meaningful, and it hits me just how closed off I’ve been. No doubt Huey’ll wanna have a long conversation about this at some point.
But not today. Today is just for Eli and me.
Walking out of the cafeteria hand in hand like we do leaves a wave of whispers behind us that we ignore. I’m practically vibrating with my need to be alone with him again and I’ve never been more grateful for anything than when Eli shuts the door to his pod. His pod is exactly the same as mine, with the same dark blue walls and narrow, nearly too small bed, and compact metal toilet and shower. And just like my room, there’s a tall chest of drawers and a tiny desk. He’s managed to get himself a little shelf from somewhere, possibly even trading one of the carpenters for it. Unlike my room, which is still pretty much the same basic box I moved into, there are little touches of Eli everywhere—mainly the papers stacked on every available surface, and the drawings stuck to the walls, and the collection of things he’s traded for on the shelves.
Crossing the cramped space, he collapses completely against me, tucking his face into the crook of my neck. It feels really fucking good. Even better when I lock my arms around him and hold him like I’ve wanted to for years.
“You alright?” My lips are pressed to his temple, each word kissing his skin.
The barest nod of his head tickles my tidied beard.
“Yeah.” He sighs, nuzzling into me. “Slept like shit last night, though.” He adds, kind of accusingly.
I bark out a laugh, admitting, “Yeah, me too.”
He laughs quietly against me, but neither of us move for a long while. I don’t know about him, but I just need to hold him. It untangles the knot of worries inside my belly.
“Come on, sit down.” He says eventually, pulling back and waving to his bed. “Tell me about your meeting with the commanders. How was it?”
Inwardly I groan, but I let him lead me to the bed. We stretch out together on his cramped bed and I tell him all about the meeting while he scratches at my scalp. It was one of the worst meetings I’ve had in a while, just because of what I had to share. Over and over again I had to tell them about the increasing tensions between the three of them and the rest of us. About mine and Lou’s fears that they would retaliate if we made any move to isolate or restrain Cale. And then finally what happened when he turned and how we only survived because of Ryan.
Every so often they apologised for making me relive it—then they asked the same questions again, only a little differently. Like after all these years I’m suddenly lying and not to be trusted.
It’s the way these meetings go every time, and I know better than to take it personally, but I was really done by the time they sent me to my pod. At least they didn’t do the same thing about the night of the red rains. It was more than enough to explain that Eli and I holed up in the trailer for the night. They know we’re both carriers. They know what happened. Nobody needed me to paint them a picture.
“That’s fucked. I’m sorry.” Eli kisses my head this time when I’m done talking. It’s nice, getting to share all this with someone. Getting to share it with him.
“Yeah, but it’s not so bad. They won’t be so hard on you.”
Eli doesn’t say anything, he just snuffles against my hair and continues to pet me.
“You seen Moby?” I ask after a while.
“Yeah, he came down to see me when we were unloading the trailer. He says thank you for the moth, too. And he’s glad you’re back.”
I smile against Eli’s shirt, a thick lump in my throat. People tell me they’re glad I’m back after every trip, but I’ve always told myself that what they meant was that they were glad I made it back with their supplies.
This time, I’m really trying to tell myself they actually meanme. It’s going to take a while to get used to.
“What is it you wanted to show me?” I ask.
“Oh shit, yeah. That.” Eli sounds nervous, his hands stilling in their casual patting.
