Page 24 of All Your Days
By the time I’ve taken three deep breaths and settled my shit down enough to turn around, his tent is already sealed up tight.
Chapter seven
Jacob
Eli didn’t walk withme yesterday. He decided he’d prefer to ride the camel rather than walk with me when it was my shift pulling. He walked with Lou, though. They chatted the whole afternoon about people they both knew at The Facility, and about Eli’s art. Apparently, Lou has more than a few of Eli’s drawings back in his hut.
I’ve been alone my whole life, by choice or by fate. But yesterday was the first time since I was a kid that I felt it. And it felt like shit.
It sat like an aching pit inside me, made worse by the shithouse sleep I’ve managed to scrape together ever since I ran from him after our water fight two nights ago.
I know he probably doesn’t get it, or worse, thinks it’s personal.
But I’m just fucking scared. Terrified.
I don’t know how people do it; I don’t know how theyriskit. Just look at Kelly. He had everything. A wife, a baby, and all the safety The Facility could offer.
And I don’t even know if he’ll be alive when I get back. And if he is, I don’t know if he’ll behimanymore. It’s just… over for him.
It’s too much.
“So you reckon we’ll get there today?” Lou asks as we complete the final checks on the saddles and trailer straps.
“Without a doubt. We’re not gonna make it ‘till dark, though. Actually—” I put my fingers to my lips and let out a sharp whistle. “Everybody, a heads up!”
It takes a second for everyone to stop what they are doing and pay attention. Eli’s the last one, meticulously zipping his notebook back into his emergency bag and sauntering over. Squashing down my feelings is something I’m well practiced at, so I make use of it now, burying the sick feeling inside me that wants to both run to him and run from him.
“What’s wrong? We gonna pass another station full of freaks who wanna kidnap and torture us?” Cale jokes, elbowing Eli standing next to him.
Eli obviously wasn’t expecting it, frowning up at the much taller Cale, who doesn’t seem to register Eli’s confusion at all.
As much as the guards may irritate the shit out of me, they’ve been halfway decent. I mean, we haven’t been attacked by feral pigs or goats or anything yet. So I smile and play nice with the joke.
“Not that I know of. I just wanna go over all the shit from last night again. There was a lot so I wanna make sure we’re all clear.” I went through the details of the next stretch of our journey after our dinner last night. I even went over safety and the like for the outpost since we’re going to have to spend the night there. But the trio had been too busy peppering me with questions to really take in the seriousness of getting there.
“Like I said, we’re entering old minin’ territory. For the love of God, stick to the road. Absolutelynorunnin’ through the fields.There’re hidden entrances everywhere and the old mines are unstable as shit.”
“And, it’s not uncommon for raiders to hide behind the old piles out there to prey on travellers. We should be right; from the tracks we’ve passed, the armymen have just been through the area, but, fuck, please just keep on lookout.”
“Don’t worry, it’s what we’re here for, Jacob.” Malcolm nods, looking serious for the first time on the trip. “We got your back. Don’t we, boys?”
My initial reassurance is immediately dimmed when the three of them high five, shouting out their “Aw, yeahs!”, egging each other on like teenage boys. I wave a hand at them to try to get them to shut up.
“Yeah, too right. But seriously, keep a lookout, ‘kay?” I don’t let them start again before I continue. “And when we get to the outpost, do not go out on your own. Do not mouth off to anyone. The armymen keep a pretty tight rein on the settlement, but the people there aren’t like the ones at The Facility. Not always. There’s people there you don’t wanna get on the bad side of. We keep watch on each other, though, ‘kay? Let’s get loaded and head on out.”
I look at the four of them—Malcolm, Ryan, Cale and Lou—in turn. They know what I mean.
We keep watch on Eli.
Cale and Malcolm snickered when I pulled them aside to tell them Eli isn’t to wander the outpost alone. Ryan rolled his eyes. But they all agreed. It was only with Lou that I didn’t have to pull out the excuse that Eli’s the only one out of us unarmed and untrained. Lou, at least, has experience with a rifle from his job watching the camels overnight. He wasn’t issued with one of the Union guns, but he brought the shitty rifle he uses to keep feral animals at bay with him. It’s better than nothing.
“Lou, you ride with the train. Keep your gun ready.” I add quietly to the older man, when the guards move off to collect the last of their shit together.
“You reckon we’ll need it?” He asks out the side of his mouth, pretending to rearrange Sheba’s blankets. As a cameleer, Lou’s had training to keep the animals safe when out in the paddocks.
“I reckon we’ll be right, but ya never know. I’ve only been held up three times on this stretch. Just don’t want to risk it today.”
Like he can read my mind, his eyes flick to Eli over my shoulder. I don’t have to look to know he’s creeping closer. I can feel it.
