Page 21 of All Your Days
“Bet you’ve seen some incredible things.” I’m only a little jealous. I know there’s a big, wide country out there, and a tiny part of me would love to see it all. The more realistic part of me has had gratitude for the safety of The Facility drilled into me since before I was born it seems.
“Yeah,” there is a far off look in Jacob’s eyes as he remembers everything he’s seen. “You wouldn’t believe how different it is. Even just about a week that way—” He points to the east. “There is an amazing inland lake. Incredible. Completely out ofnowhere. Boom. Waterways. And it’s so flat here. There’s nothing, but go east or south, and there is life everywhere. All kinda life.”
“And the virus, too, though? Right?”
“Yeah, the virus is out there. And the infected, the zombified.” He sounds sadder now. The memories turned sour. And I feel like an asshole.
“I’ve never seen nothin’. Not really. I was born in the mud huts. My parents were grunts. When they died, I moved into the main building with the other kids, and that was it. The furthest I’ve ever been is foragin’. It must’ve been amazing, seein’ all those things.”
“I saw snow once.”
“WHAT?! No way?!” My shout is loud enough for Ryan to look back at us in concern.
Jacob chuckles, bumping his elbow into me, and if I’m not mistaken, his chest even puffs up a little.
“Yeah, it was just after I joined with Mitch. They had to go further east and then up. Fuck, it was so cold. Beautiful, though. And dangerous. We almost lost a trailer off this fuckin’ mountain we were riding up. I was ready to quit and run back to the settlement.” We laugh together, walking along a seemingly endless stretch of road in what feels like the middle of nowhere.
It feels unreal—if I guessed what I thought would happen on this trip, never in a hundred guesses would I think Jacob would be sharing secrets about his past with me.
They feel like little treasures that I want to hoard.
My legs ache, my feet are blistered, I’m sweaty in places sweat has no right to be, and my throat feels so dry it’s a real risk I’ll never be fully hydrated again.
But the moment is perfect.
We manage to time our secretive glance at just the right time again. My heart skips a beat when the glance holds, time slowing down. His eyes flick down to where my lips are hidden by my mask. When his eyes flit back to mine, my breath shudders out of me.
There is so muchintensityin his eyes. I can feel it, like every second he’s ever stood watch over me, filtered down into this single moment.
Until Sheba, the traitorous beast, once again shoves her face between us, grumbling a throaty growl. She bumps her nose first into Jacob, knocking his hat askew, and then into me, wiping her disgustingness all over the scarf wrapped over my head.
“For fuck’s sake, Sheba, get back.” Jacob pushes Sheba back affectionately.
“She’s probably mad we stopped.” I offer, trying not to be mad at the camel for breaking up whatever that moment just was.
“Probably. Let’s get to it.”
When we start walking again, I’m not clinging to his arm, but I’m pretty close. With each step we brush against each other. Our hands, our shoulders. It’s not a conscious thing. It just… happens. Along with the secret little looks whenever we can.
I want to ask more questions. About the settlement where he grew up. About things he’s seen. What snow feels like, but I hesitate, not wanting to spook him into getting quiet again.
And truthfully, I’m a little afraid of what the answers might be. I don’t know much about the world outside The Facility, but I’ve heard enough stories from the people that’ve come through. At times, the stories were too frightening to be believed, until hearing them again and again.
Some of the worst stories were about the kids out on their own in the settlements. There’s a lot of kids alone out there, and if they can’t find a safe adult to take them in, they run the risk of being snatched up and used for child labour. There’s even stories of gangs of feral children plaguing the bigger settlements, causing almost as much havoc as the infected.
What was it like for Jacob, before he was picked up by Mitch? And how exactly does someone get ‘picked up’ by a merchie? The more I think about it, the more the picture becomes clear about how the surly teen, abandoned again, became the emotionally guarded man walking next to me, his head held high.
That Jacob lost Sarah and the merchie crew is something I’ve always known, but I’m more than a little ashamed to say that I never quiteunderstoodwhat that meant. And how hard his adjustment to The Facility would have been. How alone he would have been.
“I’m sorry.” I say, completely out of nowhere for Jacob, who hadn’t been able to see the winding paths my brain just took. Needing to touch him, I grasp his arm again. Through his face scarf, I can hear his sharp inhale at the touch, his arm turning rock solid beneath my palm.
“‘Bout Sarah. I’m sorry. That woulda been so hard—it’s a kinda different life at The Facility. And—and—” I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to get the thoughts out and through my teeth. So I sigh, dropping my hand from his arm. “I’m sorry.”
Jacob nods, turning to look at the horizon as we continue our steady pace. “Thanks.”
I think he means it.
Jacob sends the guard trio off to refill the water cart from the nearby bore while we set up camp for the night. Apparently, it’s the last bore for a long stretch and we won’t be able to refill until we’re near the outpost.
