Page 18 of All Your Days
I’m dressed by the time Eli returns from wherever he wandered off to. He’s walking gingerly with his return, making his way to Lou preparing our breakfast.
I watch my fill, because I can. Rank doesn’t really matter out here; we’re all meant to pull our own weight—a rule I was stricton when I started leading the runs, even unofficially—but there isn’t much for me to do until we’re getting ready to roll out.
It’s obvious that Eli has no idea what he’s doing. I don’t know many people that would be able to let go of their ego long enough to learn as readily as he does. Once he’s finally woken up, he thrives on it. I can see how he’s done so well in the Labs.
That same openness about him, the eager way he embraces life, is what draws me to him. It’s like he’s the sun, and I’m just a snake trying to warm my belly on the rocks baked in his glowing light.
When he laughs, it’s like he’s inviting everyone around him to laugh with him. Even though I can tell he doesn’t like the guards overly much, in the little way he turns from them in favour for Lou, or even me, he still includes them. Even now when he’s renewed his complaining over sleeping in a tent.
“It was shit! I could barely sleep! I could hear every little thing.” He shudders exaggeratedly at the chopping board where he’s preparing the muesli and dried fruit for breakfast. Then he jabs a knife in mine and Lou’s direction. “And you two didn’t help. With all your talk of things tryin’to get into the tent. I spent the whole night listenin’ for whatever was comin’ for me.”
I’m too taken aback at being included—and the accusation—to jump in before Malcolm does.
“Ah, don’t you worry, Eli. We had ya covered all night. Not even a peep out here. Easiest job we’ve ever had. Isn’t that right, boys?”
The muscles in my jaw almost snap when I clamp my mouth shut.
Ryan and Cale laughingly agree, patting each other on the back for a job well done.
“Yeah, well, you’re a trooper, kid.” Lou deftly cuts through them, talking directly to Eli. “There’s nothin’ fine about bein’ in a tent all night. Always too bloody hot, or too bloody cold. Butthey’re a darn sight better than kippin’ out in the swag like we do back home when we head out with the camels. Not even enough room to have a wank.”
Lou waves off the guards’ guffaws, while Eli stares at him slack-jawed. I can only smile at the scene the older man’s caused. I’m not shocked. Sarah would have called him ‘a man of multitudes’.
“It’s true!” Lou cries, nudging Eli out of the way to get the breakfast served up. “You know what I’m talkin’ about don’t you, Jacob?” He nods, passing me my bowl and rolling his eyes when I inhale my own saliva.
I make the mistake of cutting my eyes to Eli, who looks a little less shocked and a lot more intrigued. I don’t know what to make of that look.
“No idea what you’re talkin’ about, Lou.” I say, because what the fuck else am I meant to say?
“Pah, you’re all too young. Actin’ like blushin’ virgins.” Lou continues to hand out the bowls.
Thankfully, the conversation about jerking off ends as the team quickly shovels down their food. Unfortunately, the topic of getting off was already too close to the front of my mind and now it’s stuck there. It makes resisting the urge to be close to Eli almost unbearable, and I find myself giving in. I end up in his personal space more often than not, touching him whenever I can find the flimsiest excuse.
Like rolling up the tent, do Ireallyneed to crouch down right next to him, so close our knees touch? Do I have to lay my hands over his to show him how to get them tucked tight? Do I have to stand directly behind him, with my chest stretched against his back, to reach for Adeeko’s rope, which has somehow ended up just out of his reach. Do I really have to grip his thigh to ‘keep him steady’ on Adeeko’s back when the camel stands?
No. But I do it all anyway, enjoying the flustered huffs more than I should. All the while, I wait for him to move away from me, but he never does. Instead, he finds his way into my personal space just as often. Though he never finds a reason to touch me before we’re on our way.
I’m antsy on our ride, Lou taking the morning shift pulling the train. It’s slow going, having to keep at human speed, but safer for the camels on the dirt track of a road.
There are hours ahead of us, and the three of us have fallen into a silent-ish rhythm. The ‘ish’ part being Lou’s whistling, and Eli’s occasional whimper. He’s pretty good at masking his pain, but not that good, and I’m paying far too much attention to him. The peace of the morning is broken by the thundering hooves of our guards returning to us.
“Hey! Hey! Hey! Can we eat this? Because Malcolm just did.” Cale arrives in a plume of dust, brandishing a branch of something with small grey-blue leaves and red berries, waving it in Lou’s face.
“Well, I can’t very well tell if you keep hittin’ me with it now, can I?” Lou snaps impatiently, ripping the stem from the guard.
Who the fuck eats random berries out here? Also, how the fuck didn’t they recognise saltbush berries? If there was ever a sign that they were sent with me as some sort of punishment, this is it.
“It’s saltbush. He’ll be fine.Thistime. Tell him if he’s gonna be a jackass, at least do it in a way that isn’t gonna have him shittin’ rivers if he makes a mistake.”
I chance a look at Eli, who is already looking in my direction, an unmistakeable ‘what the fuck’ look on his face. I grimace and nod in the direction of the worried guard, who’s looking back at his friend. Eli rolls his eyes back at me, a smirk pulling at his lips.
The silent conversation feels like a secret between us. I bite my lip and straighten my spine, letting the little bit of happiness puff out my chest a little. I don’t risk another look back at Eli.
We stop for lunch when our path is blocked by a mob of emus who have decided to stand their ground over the track, enjoying the sun. But when we go to roll out, I find Eli patting Adeeko’s neck in a way that can almost be called affectionate.
“Sorry, buddy. I just don’t reckon I can do it. Not again.”
The camel grunts in response, and bumps his nose into Eli’s face.
