Page 51 of Who's Loving You
I sigh and set down my chips then plop down on the couch. The setting sun is glowing through my windows, making the walls look like they’re bathed in flames. I swipe to answer my phone, bring it to my ear and wait for the name calling to ensue.
“Dude. It’s about fucking time you answered. I’ve been calling you for days, Papas.” I smile and wait to see how this trips him up.
“Wha–huh? I don’t–I didn’t…You, douche hole. I called you.” Saint stutters and I burst out laughing as does Diva who’s the third on our call.
“Too much information. Brain does not compute.” I mimic my voice to that of a robot and Soba laughs even harder.
“Fuck off,” Papas pouts. “I’m hanging up.”
“No,” Soba chokes through laughter. “Don’t leave us. Who will we make fun of? By the way, how did your interview with Hallmark go?”
The tears begin to fall as the laughing continues. It feels good to laugh like this. Since being split up in different states, my brothers and I haven’t had many of these moments. I love my new city, but being here without Diva and Saint feels wrong some days. I’m sure they could say the same.
I swipe at the tears and sniff away the snot that is beginning to run from my nose. “Okay. We’ll stop. Sorry, man. I know it’s been a long time.
“You’re a dingleberry for leaving us on read for so long.”
“Yeah lover boy. Is there a particular reason why you’ve been avoiding us, or do you have your noseshoved so far up your ass you can’t smell anything but your own shit?” I can picture Soba, resting back on his bed, one leg over the other and staring at himself in the mirror that hangs on the opposite wall, admiring his beauty.
We don’t call him Diva for nothing.
With a crooked smirk I quip, “My shit smells like fucking roses. And let’s not talk about avoiding conversations and dodging questions. You two are equally as sus, so lay off.”
“Yeah yeah. Can we all agree that we’ve been busy and move on?” Diva and I agree and Saint continues. “Okay. So now for today’s agenda. First order of business, the spicy Latina. You can’t just drop a fucking bomb that you’re dating that smoke show and then ghost us.”
“Valentina, jack off. Call her by her name.”
“Ooo. Touchy. Okay. Tell us young Nico,” he teases. “How did it go fromshe’s my PRtowe’re dating?” Saint lowers his voice to match mine.
“Talk about sus because the Nico Loving I know never dates. He fucks. Full stop.” Diva doesn’t beat around the bush, but he isn’t lying.
I take a deep breath and blow it out, my cheeks puffing up like a blow fish. “We’re…fake dating,” I rush.
“Hold on. What the fuck did you say? I thought you said you two arefake dating? Diva. You hear that?”
“Same goddamn thing as you, oh holy one. Seems our lover boy can’t even get a real girl.”
“Hey! She’s real, and soon our relationship will be too. I, uh…okay. Here’s the story.”
I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees and close my eyes. This is going to be a doozy of a story.
“So remember when I got called in the owner’s office after the uh–”
“Whipped cream bikinis,” they say in stereo.
“Yeah. That. Well Waggers and Mr. Montgomery thought an image revamp was in order, and wanted to start with me being in a ‘stable’ relationship. That’s where Valentina comes in.”
I continue to give them all the details from the flubbed up blind date where I slept with Carrigan after being specifically told not to, to my latest of wooing Valentina into falling for me.
I finish but the line stays quiet, neither of them speaking. The air crackles and my stomach gurgles with nerves waiting for them to say something. What I get is not at all what I was expecting. It was foolish of me to think they’d be understanding of my situation.
Loud laughter amplifies through the speaker and they both sound as if they’re gasping for air.
“Are you–” Diva’s heavy breathing muffles his words. “Are you for real right now?”
“They punished you by having you pretend to date a hot ass chick?”
My face scrunches and confusion mars my face. “Y-yes?”
