Page 87 of Dare You to See Me
I offered to stay in Dahlia’s room so as not to make anyone uncomfortable but her mother, Hana, laughed and said there was no way she was letting me sleep in a pink room filled to the brim with stuffed animals and dolls. I slept with Soleil in my arms all night, and woke up with her to help Hana early the next morning .
I couldn’t cook, so I did things like keep the ladies coffee mugs fresh, set the table –at Dahlia’s supervision– kept George company when the games were on, and acted as taste tester whenever it was needed.
The dinner was excellent, from the food to the company, and I didn’t hide the hand holding and cheek kissing from her parents. Dahlia was used to my affection and as long as I wasn’t being disrespectful, I wasn’t about to stop.
When our bellies were packed with food, and George and I had taken care of the dishes, we all sat down to watch a Christmas movie. Apparently they have a tradition that as soon as the last dish is loaded into the dishwasher, it’s considered Christmas time. So they watch a Christmas movie to end the night followed by a slice of pie before bed.
Dahlia didn’t get to have the pumpkin pie she talked about for hours because she fell asleep cuddled up next to me before the movie was halfway over. Three people offered to put her to bed, but I was becoming a pro at bedtime duty…and Ilovedit.
George and Hana soon followed, leaving Soleil and I alone.I pulled her to lay in my lap, knowing how much she loves it when I play with her hair, and turned off all of the lights. Only the glow of the television flickers with her favorite movie,The Sound of Music.
I hear a whispered voice and lean in to hear her singing in a hush. I smile and kiss her forehead.
When she looks up at me she asks, “I never did ask you how you knew where my parents lived. Did you pull a Wesley and creep me on the internet?”
I laugh nervously because if she really knew how I found the address, she probably wouldn’t be smiling.
Instead of telling her that, while she slept one night, I snuck into her office and went through her filing cabinet where I found plenty of information on her and her family. Not only did I find Hana and George’s home address and number, but I came across a stack of photos of her late husband. Some with all of them, some of him, but the ones that caused me physical pain were the ones from her wedding.
I felt jealous and angry and sad all rolled into one churning gut. I was jealous of the man who got to hold her while she promised to be his forever. I was angry because she deserved better than a man who would cheat on her and leave her heartbroken. And I was sad that while she smiled and laughed happily with her new husband and guests, she had no idea how he would betray her.
I wanted to shred every paper that had his name or face on it. But since I couldn’t, I settled for taking one photo that she probably wouldn’t notice and used it for dart practice at the bar later that week.
“The, uh, student information forms,” I tell her. “You have them authorized to sign out Dahlia, and it has their home info.”
“Oh.” She accepts my answer and goes back to watching the movie.
I stare down at the face I know better than I know my own and catalog every new sparkle in her eyes to my memory. I never want to miss a moment. It’s why I spend so much time watching her when she sleeps. All the eye twitches, the soft snores and the way her body moves are stored in my mind’s eye.
She inhales, her eyes closing on a moan, and she melts further into me as I lightly scratch her scalp. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
She holds my stare and I pour every ounce of my heart into her. I want her to know what actual, soul crushing, earth shattering love feels like. Because if she had already known it, she wouldn’t be here in my arms right now.
She reaches up and scrapes her fingers up and down my neck, her touch igniting every nerve in my body. “I love you, Soleil.”
“I love you, too.”My breath gets trapped in my lungs and time stands still.
I’ve waited for her to say those words for what feels like a lifetime. Now that they hit, now that they’rereal, I can hardly believe it. For the first time in my life, I have the love of the woman I want to spend my days and nights with.
I take her face in my hands and crush my lips to hers. I taste the words that linger on her tongue, and I’ve never had anything better. She feeds my body and my soul and without her, I’ll starve.
My hand slips inside her pants and she grips my wrist, stopping me from moving further. “What are you doing? My parents are upstairs.”
“I know,” I tell her and kiss her neck. “They won’t hear us.”
She pushes on my chest, removing my mouth from her. “We can’t do this here. What if they come downstairs?”
“Doll face. Do you really think your parents are going to come down here knowing we are? I’m sure they want to give us alone time. Plus, with all of that turkey, they’ll be out until mid morning. C’mon. Didn’t you ever make out with a boy after your parents went to bed?”
My fingers run back and forth along her smooth skin.
“No. And you’re not looking to make out.” She raises an eyebrow with thatI know youlook.
“Not true. I absolutely want to make out. Just kissing.” She studies me with narrowed eyes and I add, “You can be the lookout, and if they come downstairs, I’ll pretend I’m choking and you were just trying to resuscitate me.”
“I wouldn’t need to resuscitate you with mouth to mouth if you were choking.”
“New techniques. Now quit worrying and keep an eye out for old people and little girls.” I return to kissing her and she resigns to letting me.
