Page 83 of Dare You to See Me
Hendrix walks up with Sloane right behind him and A.J. scurrying to his side, as usual. “She touched the end of the stick and burnt her finger. I think it’s okay.”
“It hurts,” Dahlia cries and I jog inside with her wrapped tightly around me.
Sitting her on the counter, I turn on the faucet, checking for the cold water and stick her finger in the running stream. She sniffles with fat tears in her eyes and I kiss her forehead.
“It’s going to be okay. Maybe we should all go home,” I tell her.
“No! Please. I want to stay with A.J. and Sloane.” She cries harder and I wipe away her tears that fall.
“What’s going on? Dahlia, why are you crying?” Soleil comes in, wearing my hoodie, and walks straight to where we stand.
“I burnt my finger.” Dahlia pulls her finger from the water and lifts it to Soleil’s face. “But I’m okay. Please say I don’t hafta go home.”
“I suggested we all leave.” My hand smooths over Dahlia’s hair and I grab her finger once more, and return it to the water.
Soleil assesses her, the tears now drying up and a wobbly smile on her face. “I guess if you feel okay. I don’t want you bugging Dagen or Hendrix, though.”
Dahlia’s eyes light up and she nods frantically. “I won’t. Promise. Daddy–I mean Malik made me feel all better.”
My heart stops and I get lightheaded. Not in a way that is worrisome, but rather in a way that has me playing back her words.
Did she call me daddy?I know it was an accident but it felt so right. I look at Soleil who watches me and tries to gauge my reaction. Instead of making a big deal and possibly making Dahlia feel uncomfortable, I pick her up off the counter and set her on the floor.
“I’m sure A.J. and Sloane are waiting for you. All good?” She nods and I kiss the tip of her finger. “Okay. Mommy and I will be right out.”
She skips out of the kitchen and outside like nothing happened. I turn to Soleil with a wide smile but she doesn’t look the same. She’s stone faced and I couldn’t read her if she had a chapter guide. Kyle looks between us then walks away without a word.
“Why the face?” I do the same to her as I did with Dahlia, and set her on the counter.
I come to rest between her legs and rub away the furrow that creases her forehead. She looks almost mad.
“I’m sorry she called you that. She must have just been worked up from the adrenaline.”
My head jerks back, a little thrown off by her apology. “Sorry? You don’t need to apologize. I don’t mind. I actually liked it. I felt important and it’s comforting to know that she feels safe with me.”
She pushes on my chest and jumps down. With her back to me, she paces into the living and falls to the sofa.
“You’re not her father, Malik. You’re barely anything.”
Heat surges through my body and I make my way over to her. “What the fuck does that mean, Soleil?”
“It means we’ve known you for a total of three months and you’re telling me you love me, and now my daughter accidentally calls you dad and you look like you’re mentally moving us into your home. You’re about a hundred steps ahead of me.”
I drop to my knees, pushing hers apart and nestling between them. “So because we’ve only known each other a short while, you think my feelings for you can’t be real? My feelings for Dahlia?”
She looks away and blows out an exhausted puff of air. “I’m saying that I’ve been there once before. I loved someone who I thought loved me back, and he only ended up hurting me. And my daughter is the one who suffers the most. I can’t have her falling for you only to be destroyed if we break up. You cannot feed ideas to either of us. We have to live in reality, not your fantasy of what it could be.”
Anger pulses through my veins. “Don’t take out on me what you feel for another man. I’m not Gene, and I never will be. I’ll never hurt you. I’ll never cheat on you. And I sure as hell won’teverdo anything to cause Dahlia pain. I want only to bring you both happiness. You deserve as much.”
“You don’t get it, Malik. I–”
“You’re right. I don’t get it! I don’t get what has you so upset. She accidentally called me daddy. Okay. It happens. Do you know how many of my students have called me that? And when I’m the only male role model she has at school and home, it seems perfectly logical. But don’t get mad at me because I liked it. I’m not Danté, or even Hendrix up until recently. I’ve always known I want a family. So excuse the fuck out of me for having the smallest bit of hope.” I hold my thumb and index finger apart, then throw my hands up.
I rise to my feet and stride to the front door. I need air. I feel like the walls are closing in on me. How can we be arguing about this? Because I care too much?
I slam the door behind me and walk out towards the woods at the edge of Hendrix’s property. I let my hands rest on my head as I close my eyes and breathe deep, working hard to calm myself. I’m not that guy who can’t control his emotions anymore. I’ve dealt with that and grown up. Fighting with my hands and stabbing with my words aren’t in my arsenal. I let those go. But hearing her say all of that has the guy I buried long ago rising up.
“Malik.” A small hand touches my back and a soft voice calls my name.
