Page 102 of Our Long Days
He loves me.
He thumps a fist to his chest. “I’m terrified of it. You’re already too perfect, too bright, too good for me. You blew through all my walls, Florence. You say you want everything? I doubt you’d want to be tied to a man whose future is unpredictable. It hurts, but losing you would destroy me.”
I’m swaying from the words I’ve only dreamed of hearing. “Why would you lose me? I’m right here, Dex, waiting—wanting—to love you in return.”
Finally, he looks up, and his distraught expression literally brings me to my knees. “What if one day, you stop?”
I shuffle forward, eyes level, hands resting on his thighs. “Stop what?”
I watch his throat work, and when silver lines his eyes, all the fight in me deteriorates. “Loving me.”
My entire world implodes. I’m speechless. Dex’s floodgates swing open, revealing the truth—the heartbreaking truth—as to why this man only allows himself a fraction of happiness.
“I’d accepted a life alone a long time ago. Ménière's is unpredictable. Along with the tinnitus and vertigo attacks comes hearing loss. It’s been two decades since I lost my hearing, but that doesn’t mean it won’t spread to the other.” He taps his right ear. “A hearing aid is only so effective, and in my line of work, it’s a big risk. I’m responsible for my team going home safe to their families. That day at the site, when the ratchet strap snapped, I failed. Not just my team, but you.”
I fight my tears. “You didn’t fail me. It was an accident.”
“It should have been me running to your side, yet I was the last one there.”
“I’d never hold something out of your control against you, Dex.”
“But it’s my job to keep you safe.” He shakes his head. “I vowed to not drag another person into my mess the day I wasdiagnosed. Then, you barreled into my life, flipped it upside down, and gave me a glimpse of a future I hadn’t allowed myself to picture.” He takes a shuddering breath. “I fell in love with your laughter first, and what if, one day, it’s gone? What if we have kids, and I don’t hear them crying when they need me? What if I never know if they share their mother’s laugh? My whole life, I’ve ignored the what ifs, until you. You make me want things I swore I’d never have. My future is unpredictable, and you don’t deserve to drown in a sea of what ifs. You deserve absolutes and security. I’ll be fine. I’ve accepted it, but I don’t want that for you.” A lone tear slides down his cheek, shattering me. “I don’t want to be a burden to you.”
My body trembles, fighting back a sob and to throw myself into his arms. This mountain of a man, so resilient and protective, has weathered his own silent storm this entire time, content with a lifetime of standing on the sidelines.
The sharp pain in my chest intensifies.
I’ve done enough research to know profound hearing loss is a possibility, a fact that has never once made me question a future with Dex.
The weight of his confession sits heavy, sagging his broad shoulders. It’s as if all his strength was used to keep the truth at bay, and now that’s it out, he’s caving in on himself.
I’ve lost count of the times he’s held me up.
Now, it’s my turn.
I cup his face, forcing his broken gaze to meet mine. “You don’t get to decide my future, Dexter Robert Moore. It’s my choice, and I choose you a million times over. Love—real love—isn’t fickle or trivial. It withstands the greatest of challenges. And whatever life throws our way, we facetogether.You’ve accepted every messy, chaotic piece of me, and I’ll accept you no matter what. That heart of yours is so big, and I want it, whatever happens.
“Our children will be lucky to have a father like you, whoprotects them fiercely, teaches them kindness through actions, and will love them unconditionally. If, one day, you can’t hear their laughter, I’ll describe it to you. I won’t let you forget the beautiful sounds of morning songbirds or the crackling of a campfire.” I drop my forehead to his. “Love doesn’t have to be heard.”
My hands shift to his ears. Carefully, I unhook his hearing aid, place it on the sofa, and press my palms to either side of his head.
I mouth three words.
I love you.
Something flashes in his storm cloud eyes, breaking through the overcast skies.
I love you, I repeat over and over.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
His tears flow freely,silent sobs wracking his shoulders.Relief, long overdue relief, fills his body.
Uncovering his ears, I speak clearly, voice sure. “You can see it. Feel it. Love is all-encompassing. You push me away, I’ll come right back—pissed and ready to tear you a new one, but that’s love.”
“You can’t know that for sure. You’ve seen how my condit?—”
I silence him with a kiss. “Do you love me?”
