Page 75 of The Unwanted Husband
Their smile made something flip in her heart. The kids said their uncle’s name as they started moving toward her, excitement in their step. Her heart started to beat like it believed Ashok was back and that made her stomach coil.
Who was she kidding, she missed him too. Just could not get herself to admit.
Pushing away her melancholy, she kept walking backwards, laughing at the twins as they walked toward her. A few more steps and she would have successfully gotten them to the dining hall. “I know the trick to get you–”
Her words were lost when her back bumped into something and a moment later she knew it was someone and also exactly who it was.
Ashok!
His musky warmth enveloped her as she felt his arm go around her, making her turn to face him. She was so close to him, she felt every bit of him against her. When her eyes met his, her heart leaped with joy while her stomach sank. She was overjoyed to see him but he looked like he hadn’t slept in days but the way he looked at her, it made her shudder.
Before she could decipher the emotion in his eyes, he leaned in to kiss her hard on her lips, his fingers gripping in her hair. She let out a moan against his lips as he pulled back to look at the twins.
“I missed you guys so much,” he said as he gathered both of them into his arms. His words, although directed to the twins, hit a nerve for her, deep inside.
Did he miss her too?
Something about the way he kissed her made her knees turn to jelly and her step was still wobbly as they walked toward the dining area.
“Look whose back,” Sasikala taunted as they all gathered around the table. “Who leaves their wife for an entire week right after their wedding night.”
“It’s a good thing Isha is very understanding.” His mother shook her head in disapproval.
Ashok laughed. “I know, I know, I will make it up to her by taking her out to the lone island.” As if it was the most natural thing to do, he reached to her side and kissed her on the temple, making her even more jittery.
“Yes, that’s a great idea.” Sasikala was excited. “The twins don’t want to be with us when you and Isha are around. Do that soon so we get them all for ourselves.”
With those words, everyone sat down to eat and the conversation flowed naturally but for her, it was torturous. With Ashok to her side, his elbow, shoulder or his arm rubbed against her every other moment and she trembled in response.
Was she stupid to think she had gotten over the attraction like he had. What the heck was she supposed to do now?
*****
Later that evening, she stood on the balcony off the bedroom, barefoot on the warm tiles, watching the sun melt over the horizon. The same view that had taken her breath away every evening now felt like a crude awakening of reality. The island’s beauty seemed to mock her in a strange way, like it was telling her she didn’t belong.
“I belong here because I married him,” it was a whisper but she needed to say it out loud.
But he doesn’t want you here.
It was becoming all the more evident that he didn’t want anything to do with her. But that cannot be just his choice. And for the first time since this whole arrangement began, she wasn’t afraid of where she might land if she were to push herself close to him.
“He said he missed me,” she kept conversing to the ocean.
Who was she kidding? She was lying to herself.
She missed the comfort his mere presence had given. She missed his laugh echoing through the mansion’s corridors as he bathed the twins, missed the way he’d rub her feet every night, missed falling asleep to the sound of his voice instead of just the endless whisper of waves.
She could feel herself falling not just into the moment of annoyance, but into something deeper, more dangerous. Something that she knew may go out of control.
She gripped the balcony railing, frustration building like a storm but not just at him. At herself.
This isn’t who I am,she thought, angry at the longing ache in her chest.
She’d never been the type to pine, to be a clingy lovesick teenager. Never. She’d lived alone for years before him, built her own career, her own life the way she wanted it. So why did she feel so dependent on him? Because she was on his island?
The rational side of her mind insisted her thoughts were ridiculous. The island beauty she’d fallen in love with didn’t seem so magical without him. The fact that she had become such a softy made her feel pathetic and small.
The self-awareness only made the longing worse, created a feedback loop of wanting him and being disgusted with herself for wanting him so desperately.
