Page 128 of The Cuddle Clause
The continued supply of Trader Joe’s dark chocolate peanut butter cups, fresh blueberries, and shoulder massages while I am gaming.
Clause 2.3 – Bathroom Conduct:
Roman Velasquez, hereafter referred to as ‘Loyal Alpha of Mild Domesticity,’ agrees to stop leaving beard trimmings in the sink like some kind of feral swamp creature.
That one had three gold paw stickers next to it.
Clause 3.7 – Blanket Fort Usage:
The construction of blanket forts for purposes of emotional support, seduction, or general whimsy is not only permitted but encouraged. Forts must include:
At least one form of twinkle light
Snacks within arm’s reach
Permission for spontaneous cuddling, even if the fort-builder claims to be ‘working’
Clause 4.9 – Conflict Resolution:
All fights must be resolved via one or more of the following:
Barefoot walks to the bodega for midnight snacks
Truth or Dare rematches
Slow dancing in the kitchen, no matter how mad we are
Roman had scribbled next to this one:
Unless you’re mad because I forgot to pick up your dry cleaning again. Then I deserve the silent treatment until I grovel.
