Page 9 of The Cuddle Clause

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Roman scratched the back of his neck. “She’s the landlord. Not someone to be messed with.”

“Noted.”

Conflict Resolution Clause:

In case of disagreement, both parties agree to:

Rock-paper-scissors duel

Mediation via passive-aggressive sticky notes

Or, if necessary, forced eye contact and a very long, awkward hug

Plate Designation Clause:

The blue ceramic plate with the uneven rim is Roman’s. It is “The Good Plate”.

Do not put it in the dishwasher.

Do not microwave it.

Do not serve fish on it.Ever.

Lighting Policy:

No overhead lights after seven p.m. Lamps only. Warm bulbs. Zero fluorescents.

Window Treatment Policy:

The curtains and blinds must be closed at all times unless proof is presented that Doris Cranberry is off the premises.

Noise-Canceling Hours:

Between two and five p.m., Roman enters “Quiet Wolf Mode.” During this time:

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