Page 4 of Trussed In Hope
Regretting the email I was about to send, I took a deep breath and wrote Love Catered to let them know I wouldn’t be arriving. I then messaged him to apologize, hoping he’d forgive me. When I tried to submit it, the box became uncheckable, and a message came over from Dr. Cushions. They couldn’t get a message to Hardison to let him know I couldn’t make it. So he’d be waiting for me if I didn’t show. She asked if there was something that shecould do to help ease my mind, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.
Not if you can’t get my job back.
I exhaled my frustration in a quick whoosh and jumped out of my car. Grabbing my work bag and purse, I went inside and looked for a bottle of wine. Something red and dry to burn away the fury churning within me. I purchased one of the unmarked bottles from a local winery and settled on the island in the kitchen. Filling the glass above the line of respectful and going straight to the what the fuck level, I took a long sip. I closed my eyes; the freshness fizzled through my nerves while the acidity bit at the back of my jaws. A loud smack eased the bite, and I hummed in approval.
“Yes!” I turned on some music and let the rhythm guide my hips.
Truth was… I’d been married before. He’d broken my heart, stomped it into pieces, and made a fool of me. He mocked my devotion to him by parading random women around. Everybody knew but me. I was too blind to see it, or I’d hoped the things that looked suspicious weren’t true. Denial. I’d been the queen, and he’d taken advantage, leaving me to piece together my life five years ago.
Bankruptcy had saved me from going under, but now I paid everything in cash or with my debit card. It’d been hard enough to get this apartment. The idea of not being able to pay my bills here physically made me sick. My trip was supposed to reverse all the pain stored there, releasing me into a space where love existed. Too much dreaming, I supposed.
More wine. Less thinking.
And I did until I passed out while singing. I remembered my mother singing when I was a child. Letting her voice follow me into the darkness. I heard her humming in my dreams, and it putme at ease to let go of my problems for a little while. All would be okay until then.
I woke up hungover and more tired than I’d been when I’d fallen asleep. Water, breakfast, and medication made focusing a little better. Then, more water to help with the hydration I needed.
Just when my brain caught up with my reality, my phone rang. It was my best friend.
“Yes, Tia,” I answered the phone without enthusiasm.
“I was just calling to make sure that you were all packed for leaving. I’m not there to make sure that you’re packing the right things, so I’m doing the next best thing.”
There was a beep in my ear, and when I looked at my phone, she had requested permission for a video call.
I swore under my breath and accepted. “What, girl?”
“Show me what you’ve packed.” She was busy doing something and not paying much attention to the screen.
“I haven’t started packing yet. I had a long day yesterday and came home to cancel this damn thing.”
“Why?” She leaned close to the phone and flinched as if it’d burned her. “Did you go out partying? You look hungover.”
“No. I just drank an entire bottle of wine. That’s all.”
“With who? Because if you tell me you drank it alone, I’m going to judge you.”
“I did. But I had reason to.”
She stared at me, waiting for this explanation.
“They fired me yesterday. And then, with all the money I spent getting ready for the trip… I really need it all back. I have bills to pay.”
“Wait, what?” she yelled into the phone. “No, no, no, no… We are not doing that. You’re going to find a new oneafteryou return home. You’ll find another job. What you do is too important for people not to be looking for someone. You’ll make it through. If you can swim after diving in shallow water with Lamont, girl, you can survive anything.” Her reference to my ex lightened the load that I seemed to carry. “If you don’t have a job in a month, I’ll loan you what you need. It’s not the end of the world. You’ve been really excited about this blind date, and honestly, I think I am, too.”
“I’m going to go so that I can cancel in person since there’s no way to reach him now.”
“That seems odd.” She put her hand on her hip and pondered the reasons.
I could see all her thoughts as they changed the expressions that registered on her face.
“Do you know his name?” Tia asked.
“I do. Hardison Curie.”
“Oh… Have you seen him?”
“I’ve seen his profile photo.” I saw an email from Love Catered, and I checked it. It was my itinerary. I rolled my eyes at the details, hating that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my stay as I thought I would.
