Page 9 of Trussed In Hope
Emberlynn came out of her room ready to call therapists and do my exercises. We accomplished both, and with her resources, we found someone who could come to me tomorrow. Not to mention my body felt so much better after the stretching. I hurt all the time, but after stretching, the ache in my leg didn’t ache as much. It relieved pressure, allowing for more mobility.Thisis why physical therapy was so important to me. I needed that healing energy that only came from aiding the body so it could heal.
As for the head doctors, I hadn’t realized that you could contract them out directly, not going through the organizations they worked for. That was exactly what Emberlynn had done toget someone in sooner than three months from now. That’s what using the information that my insurance provided would get me. And mind you, that was if I wasn’t picky about who I wanted and what they specialized in. Emberlynn had done the reverse. She’d taken the list of psychologists who specialized in military PTSD and worked through the list. Be damned that she found a few willing to work with me and take my insurance. There was a co-pay, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.
Lying on my back, staring at the ceiling, I relaxed and let the tightness in my muscles fade away, killing off the aches and pains. Emberlynn had taken over and got things done. Allowing me to just lie here to let the medication and our stretch session do their jobs. Tomorrow I would be busy getting acclimated to the physical therapistandthe psychologist. Today, I wanted to get to know Emberlynn. Not only because I appreciated the help she’d given, but that was the sole reason that she was here.
On paper, she seemed perfect. We wanted the same things–a solid future that included children, building a home, her dream career, travel, and endless other possibilities that didn’t fit in a box. She was tall, curvy, naturally feminine, and independent. There was a long list of other things that she was, but the thing that the bio from Love Catered didn’t tell me was that she was reserved–hardened–probably from living life. I couldn’t wait until she folded–softened. It was going to be that much sweeter, that much more rewarding, and best of all, it would be for me. I couldn’t wait to see her blossom into the woman she was supposed to be. That would be the real treat.
“I have a few things that I want to do. Are you up for going out?” I turned in her direction and waited.
“I can. Do I need to change?” She looked down at her clothes as if she were wearing the worst possible thing.
Instead, she looked good enough to eat. Her baby-blue sweater exposed her shoulders fully, scooping down in the frontto reveal the tops of her breasts. It hugged her curves down to her thighs, where her navy-blue leggings took over. Baby-blue combat boots covered her feet and laced up to her knees.My tags would look really nice around her neck.The thought almost made me jump out of my skin.
“Why would you? You’ve caught my attention. What else matters?”
“I wasn’t trying…”
“Nevertheless, you managed to. Says something, doesn’t it?” Cause baby… If I knew it wouldn’t scare her, I’d show her exactly what that outfit was doing to me.
Emberlynn shifted in her seat. “Hardison, I?—”
“You worry too much. Let’s focus on today and make sure that you stay out of your pretty little head. Today, your only job is to feel. To experience. No outside concerns. These are your parameters. Can you handle that, or is that too big a job?” I smirked, challenging her.
“What happens if I can’t?” Her eyes lit up when she asked. She was a brat. One I was sure as hell going to tame.
“Then you’ll pay. I’m creative, and I can think of many ways to make sure that you understand the assignment. Understood?” I raised my head, hoping she took me up on that.
Emberlynn nodded, but the light never dimmed from the mischief dancing in her eyes.
“Good. I’m going to put on real clothes. I’ll be right back.” I got up, dressed–since I had on basketball shorts and a t-shirt—and came back a few moments later.
“How’d you do that? I wish it only took me five minutes to get ready.” She sneered.
Chuckling, I grabbed the keys to my SUV and pulled on my leather jacket to keep the wind from attacking my skin. “I was in the military. You learn quickly that you don’t have timeto waste on things like getting dressed. You’re more concerned with living.” I held my hand out for her to rise, so we could leave.
“Let me get my clutch and jacket.” Emberlynn hurried off, and a few minutes later, she resurfaced. “I’m ready.”
That dazzling smile was all I saw as excitement filled her.
“Come on.” I held out my arm, and she wrapped hers around mine like we’d done this a million times. It felt right. Damn good, too. So, I led us to the car, where I put her inside first, closed her door, and then went to the driver’s seat.
I started the engine and pulled up the GPS map to input the address. I glanced to see Emberlynn still as excited as when we’d been inside. To help her mellow out, I turned on some music before putting the car in motion.
“I know you’re a therapist. What other things do you do?” I needed something more than the information that the agency had provided. Something that only she could tell me.
“You mean for fun?” She turned toward me, catching me nodding her way. “I sing in my living room while drinking wine, video chat with my best friend who loves encouraging me to do brave things, and sometimes I even go outside.”
We both laughed at the last part.
“No, I… I used to go out and have crazy fun, but that stopped being me after I got married. My ex was controlling and insensitive. Every move that I made was wrong. In fact, he did everything right. Even when it made me out to be a bad person.” She paused, but I knew she wasn’t done. “I love too hard when I’m giving myself to someone. I understand he was the wrong person to sacrifice it all for, but it seemed like I’d made the best decision by giving him my heart.” She dabbed the corners of her eyes and sniffed.
I chanced a glance her way, and it damn near broke me. Without thinking, I gently massaged her knee, offering a warmthI hoped she understood. When she was finished wiping the tears, I pulled into the parking lot of our destination.
I put the car in park and turned to her. “Never apologize for showing up fully for something you wanted. Even if the other person doesn’t meet you halfway. That sounds a lot like his loss. If he wanted you, if he deserved you, then you wouldn’t be here mourning what you gave him. It’s not your fault that he couldn’t handle it. I don’t know the situation, and honestly, I don’t want a reason to go looking for a man to make him understand he hurt you. Instead, I hope to earn whatever parts of yourself you’re willing to share. I’ll even give you the same energy.”
Emberlynn laughed through the tears and shook her head. “This wasn’t planned. I didn’t mean to unload my bullshit on you. Talking about my ex has to be on the list of things not to say on a first date.”
“I’m glad you did. Trust that I have my horror story to tell as well. Now’s not the time, but I get it. The people who weren’t meant for us, but that we really want them to be, are hard lessons that take a special healing. It’s required, though. Otherwise, how do we get to the real gem?” I reached into the glove compartment and pulled out some tissue for her. “When you’re ready, can I have you fix yourself up? We don’t want to take that pain in here with us. I’d rather have your happiness instead.”
