Because I hated talking about her.
Elia understood. But something in his face told me he wanted more than just to talk about her.
Not today. Maybe not ever.
I had survived by shutting that part of my life out. Blocking her out. And that guilt alone was enough to swallow me whole.
Silence settled between us, thick but familiar. We drank.
After another stretch of it, I set my bottle down. “Hey, I’m gonna drop by Log’s. Told him I was coming.”
“Of course.”
And that was it. I parted from him, carrying ghosts too heavy to name.
Logan Pierce had beenElia’s best friend first. Officially. But over the years, while Elia had played the role of cheeky big brother, Log had been the one I could actually talk to. I loved my brother, no question. But sometimes it was just…easier with Log.
No expectations. No burden.
His ranch was only a couple of miles out, so I walked it.
“Hey, Noah boy!” Log called, his grin laid-back as ever.
He had always played the big brother between the three of us, and even now that I’d grown up, I was still just a boy to him.
“Hey,” I said, pulling him into a quick hug.
He hadn’t aged a day. Meanwhile, I’d collected enough city stress lines a twenty-seven-year-old cowboy would never wear.
“You sticking around this time?” he asked.
“I am.”
“Not too rich to retire ranch-side?”
“I was too rich not to.”
“Now that’s a good start.” He thumped me lightly on the shoulder.
I looked past him, out toward the horizon. This side of Buffaloberry backed right into the Bitterroot Mountains, a range in the Rockies that felt a little bigger out here.
“How’s wedding prep going at The Lazy Moose?” he asked.
“Well enough,” I said.
“You going?”
“Hell no. I’m just the help.”
“No plus-one, so you’d rather stay in the shadows?” Log teased.
If only. That certain lady with the twisted-updo and a smile that could level a man? She wasn’t mine. Never had been. Her smile wasn’t even pointed my way.
And the kicker?
She was the one getting married.
But sure, let’s pretend she wasn’t still renting space in my head.