Page 92 of Loving the Sinner
“Already done, covered, and put back in the fridge.” I say mildly. “What else can I do?”
My mom stomps over to the fridge to make sure I cut them properly, but she must notice that the pickles are missing because she snaps, “You forgot the pickles!”
“I looked in the pantry and the fridge and there weren’t any.” I say as calmly as I can.
“Shelly’s bringing them.”
“Then I’ll cut them when Shelly’s here.” I say, barely containing my eye roll. How am I supposed to cut imaginary pickles?
There really isn’t much else to do until more people show up, so I silently back up so I’m out of her way so she can bang around the kitchen angrily. I bump into a warm body and I already know it’s Wes.
He places a hand on my hip and squeezes gently, assuring me he’s got me.
“Gid, Issac, Spence. This is my boyfriend Wes. Wes, this is Spencer, Gideon, and Issac.”
“Nice to meet you fellas.” Wes says politely, but none of them even spare him a second glance.
I look at Wes and mouthI’m sorrybecause my brothers are fucking rude. Wes just shakes his head and mouthsall good.
Izzy rushes past me, sniffling and heads to her room and Wes nudges me to follow her. I don’t want to leave him alone, so I drag him down the hall and up the stairs with me.
The door to my old bedroom is slightly ajar, and I hear Izzy sniffling harder as I approach. I knock lightly before pushing open the door to find her on the floor with her knees brought up to her chest and her head resting on her arms.
“Iz, what’s going on?” I whisper, letting go of Wes’s hand and sitting next to my sister.
Wes waits in the doorway, taking in everything about the space. Izzy’s completely taken over the space as her own in the last few months, you’d hardly even know I used to live here. Her hot pink blankets are all thrown around the room, clothes are littering the floor, the desk she uses as a vanity is covered in beauty products and hair styling tools.
“She-she just said something that hurt my feelings. That’s all. I’m exhausted from theater camp this week, and I’m just overly emotional.” Izzy says, swatting at the tears falling down and streaking her meticulously applied contour.
Wes steps over to the desk, grabs a box of tissues, and hands it to me silently and I mouththank you,and get a wink in return.
“What did she say?” I ask, hoping Izzy will open up about it. I don’t want her to go through this alone.
“She told me she wishes I was a boy. Her sons haven’t broken her heart and torn apart the family like her ‘spoiled’ daughters have.” Izzy uses air quotes around the word spoiled, because we both know we aren’t.
My heart aches for Izzy. I wish I could do something about it. I can’t say anything to my mom, or I risk her taking out her anger on Izzy when I leave. I can’t steal Izzy away, as much as I want to.
“I’m so sorry Iz. That was really unfair of her to say.” I say, rubbing up and down her arm.
Izzy sighs, then looks over to me. “I wish you didn’t have such a cool life so I could just come live with you the rest of the school year. I know it’s only a year until I’m gone, but I don’t want to walk on eggshells around her.”
“I don’t blame you. I wish there was a way I could help. Why did you tell mom you wanted to leave the church knowing you had to stay with her for another year?”
“She was trying to talk me into getting my patriarchal blessing. I didn’t want to go see that old geezer and have him put his hands on my head for that long so I said no. She wanted a good reason why I wouldn’t do it, so I told her I no longer believe that the church is true. She waslividEls. I have never seen her so angry. So she asked if it had anything to do with our little trip to Texas, ifyouinfluenced me to leave, and I told her no, I swear. I told her you wouldn’t say anything about the church to me, just that you were done with it. I guess she thinks I’ll just blindly follow you. But I did my own research, I swear. I spent an entire night going down a rabbit hole on TikTok and checking the facts.”
“I believe you Iz. I know how overwhelming all the information can be. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this alone. If I’d been here, or stayed close by-”
“No.” Izzy cuts me off. “I have watched youflourishin Texas, Els. I’ve never seen you as happy as you are there, especially now that you have a hunk of man meat on your arm.”
“Don’t make me tell Luke you said that.” Wes teases with a wink.
“Oh please.” Izzy rolls her eyes. “He knows you’re hot. But he also knows my love and loyalty are his. Anyway, I don’t want you to blame yourself. I should have just kept my mouth shut and gone through the motions until I moved out. That’s on me. All I need from you is someone to call and cry to on occasion.”
“You’ve got me, baby sis. I promise. I’ll answer whenever I can.” I pull her into a hug, just as we hear the front door open and a million different chattering voices fill the living room. “Alright. Now it’s time to put on our fake smiles and get through this luncheon. I need your help keeping the aunts away from Wes.”
“You’ve got it, boss. Operation keep Wes sane is a go.” Izzy salutes me, and we both break out in a fit of giggles.
Chapter 43
