Page 90 of Loving the Sinner
The next speaker is a (shocker) blonde lady who says she was asked to talk about faith. She gives definitions of faith and examples from their scriptures, and then gives examples from her personal life. She tells a story about how she was pregnant with hersixthchild and there were so many complications during the birth that no onewas sure either of them were going to make it. How she had “faith” in the blessing her husband gave her, and even though she couldn’t have any more kids because of how badly that birth went, she was grateful for God in saving her and her baby’s life.
This is what I don’t get.Obviously,I’m glad that she and her baby are alive. But giving credit to some invisible being rather than the doctors and nurses who probably busted their asses to save her and her baby? That’s fucked up.
Her husband is the third speaker, and he talks about how he had faith he would get his wife to say “yes” to a date with him. He asked herfourtimes and she kept turning him down. He says he’s grateful God was able to help her see that they were obviously meant to be.
That sounds a lot like her just being tired of his persistence, but whatever.
Spencer’s the last speaker. He talks about how he’s going to need faith to get through two years in a country where he doesn’t speak the language, and he doesn’t know anyone. He talks about how there’s been a big change happening in his family and he has faith that if he keeps doing what he’s “supposed” to be doing, his family will be together forever.
I feel Elli tense when he talks about their family. I assume he’s talking about her leaving the church, and it breaks my heart for both of them. My heart breaks for Elli because she shouldn’t be ridiculed for trying to find her own happiness. My heart breaks for Spencer because he shouldn’t feel like he’s the one that has to “be good” in order to bring Elli back.
There’s yetanothersong when Spencer’s done, this one is about loving to see the temples. It’s not in their green book, everyone just either has it memorized or they read it off the program given out in the beginning. The song, if you listen to the lyrics, is creepy as hell with everyone singing it like this.
There’sanotherprayer after the song, but this time by another middle aged white man with thick graying hair.
When he’s done, the congregation murmurs and rises, and Elli pulls me out the door quickly and to her car, ignoring the people trying to get her attention.
As soon as we’re in the car, I see the tears threatening to spill over her lashes. I cup her face and pull her into my chest as best as I can, and I let her sob.
“What can I do, baby? How can I make it better?” I ask, my thumb wiping away tears as fast as they can.
“Let’s just,” she hiccups, “get this luncheon over with so we can be alone. Okay? I just need you by my side today.”
“You’ve got me baby. I promise. I’m right here.”
We wait another beat until most of her tears are gone, then she pulls the mirror down and blots at her eyes.
“Okay. Let’s get to my mom’s house.” she sighs.
“Tell me the directions.” I say, buckling my seatbelt and pulling out of the parking lot. “And while we drive you can explain what the hell a relief society and elders quorum is.Andwhy do all the women look the same? And please explain why the fuck the sacrament cups look like little shot glasses?! I thought we were at a rager getting tequila shots!”
My questions do the trick in making her laugh, the sound soothing my anxious nerves.
The drive doesn’t take long, so she only gets to explain that the Mormon gene pool is pretty small because everyone marries other Mormons, so a lot of them look similar.
“Well I’m glad to see you don’t look like a carbon copy of everyone there.”
“Thanks Wes. And thank you for coming, again. Are you ready for this crazy shitshow?”
“Baby, I was born ready. Let’s do this thing.” I say getting out of the car, rounding to her side, and opening it for her.
I pull her into me for a tight hug before I give her a rated-PG kiss that will hopefully calm her nerves.
“I needed that.” She whispers.
“Me too.”
Chapter 42
Elli
Ididn’t think that being in a church and having to sit through a sacrament meeting would be so hard, but it was.
The only saving grace was Wes’s confused questioning, which made me see things in a different light.
Sacrament meeting is fucking weird.
I was doing relatively okay, then Spencer started talking about the “trials” our family was going through, and I knew he was talking about me and Izzy. Izzy looked like she was about to stand and leave when he brought it up. I had clasped her hand to remind her she’s not alone. He’s not talkingjustabout her. Though I’m sure she’s received many lectures from both him and our mother lately.
