Page 103 of Loving the Sinner
“I think you should go get the food now.” Her voice is robotic now. Void of any emotion, and I can’t help but think I totally missed something in this conversation.
With a hesitant nod, I slowly walk out of the hotel room, shaking my head.
I replay the conversation on the drive, trying to follow the maps.
“I’m going to need some time, and a lot of patience to work through this.”
I’m stopped at a red light, still processing the conversation when Robin calls me. She starts talking immediately with a harsh “Did you fix it?”
“What do you mean? What the hell is going on?” I ask.
“Elli just called me and told me she was going to need a girls’ night as soon as we could. But then she started sobbing and saying if Sav and I didn’t want to hang out with her now that you two werebroken upthat she understood. She said you ended things while she was in the middle of trying to work through what happened at family dinner. Care to tell me your side of the story?”
“Her brother and mom said some shit to and about me while we were there for dinner yesterday. They were saying I’m just a phase for her. That I can’t provide for her. I’m not good enough. Her mom said I was a junkie and that Elli would be disowned if she didn’t break up with me.” I explain, knowing I won’t have to elaborate too much.
“Elli’s mom sounds like a bitch. So does her brother. I’m glad her and Izzy turned out to be decent.”
“Yeah, somehow the bitchiness gene skipped them.” I smile, remembering how Izzy tried to stick up for me. How Ellididstick up for me.
“So why the hell would you want to end things with her, then?”
“Robs, you should have seen the house she grew up in. It washuge!Palatial compared to the shitholes I grew up in. She’s used to having the picture-perfect house, the big family. How am I supposed to give her that? How am I supposed to give her the life she deserves?”
Robin pauses for a second before quietly asking, “What about the life shedesires?Elli’s told you before she doesn't want the white picket fence and two point five kids. She just wants to be with you.”
“Her mom also said I would leave her for the next best thing. I don’t ever want Elli to feel insecure about me leaving her. I’d never do that.”
“You’re so dumb sometimes, I swear.” Robin mumbles. “Elli is choosingyou.Elli was trying to tell you she needed time to process the fact that her mother is going to cut her off to be with you. She needs you right now, and you’re being dumb because you’re scared. Which is understandable, but I swear to god Westley, if you don’t fix this, I will castrate you.”
“I’ll fix it, I promise.” I am dumb. I should have listened more to Elli. I shouldn’t have let my insecurities get the better of me. What Louise and Spencer said hurt a lot, but I can get past it. Elli’s losing her family for being with me.
The realization sinks in that this amazing, kind, funny, beautiful woman is choosingmeover her blood relatives.
I grab the burgers, fries, and the cookie dough shake I know she’ll want and speed back to the hotel on a mission to make it clear to her that I’m an idiot and I’m sorry. That I’m hers and she’s mine.
I just hope she hasn’t given up on me yet.
Chapter 48
Elli
What’s left of my heart is beating faster than a hummingbird's as I wait for Wes to get back. I’m still processing the fact that he thinks I’d choose my mom over him.
I know some people say “blood is thicker than water” but the blood that I share with my mom is so toxic that it’s tainting the first good thing I’ve ever had for myself.
I would never choose someone who thinks Wes is unworthy, dirty, a loser, or a junkie. I would never choose someone who thinks his dreams are silly and achievable.
But he didn’t give me a chance to tell him that.
Instead, he jumped to conclusions. Conclusions that hurt both of us.
He’s been gone for about thirty minutes, and the longer he’s gone, the more my anxiety about the situation grows. I don’t know how I’m supposed to share a bed and spend two days in a car with the love of my life who no longer wants to be with me.
I hear thebeepof the door unlocking and Wes comes in holding a brown bag with grease stains on it, and two cups. He sets the things down on the little desk in the corner of our room, then digs through the bags and brings me my burger, fries, a container of fry sauce, a container of ranch, and a cup with a partially melted cookie dough shake.
I didn’t ask for a shake, and I never mentioned the fact that I wanted fry sauce. It’s a Utah thing, so most places outside of the state don’t have fry sauce. I usually just settle for ranch instead. I unwrap my burger and go to open the bun to take off the onions and tomatoes, but Wes interrupts.
“I ordered yours without onions and tomatoes. I also added an extra slice of cheese, and extra pickles because I know you like them on your burgers.”
