Page 5 of Loving the Sinner
“Here you go, kids. Belgian waffles with strawberries and whip cream for Red, biscuits and gravy, eggs over-easy for the rockstar.” Claudia sets down our plates.
“Thanks Claudia.” Robs and I say at the same time.
There’s a comfortable silence while we eat, which is both nice and concerning because Robin usually never stops talking. Maybe she knows I need to process everything so she’s giving me the space to do that?
When I first met her, it was right before my grams died. We had a ceramics class together junior year, and she was the new kid so she didn’t know my reputation. Luckily, she never cared about it when she found out. I immediately fell head over heels for the quirky, boisterous, enthusiastic redhead, and asked her to prom. She said yes, and during the last slow song I asked if she’d go out with me. She laughed in my face, thinking I was joking, but when she saw the confused look on my face she apologized and explained that she’s a lesbian. Apparently, she thought I knew.
I had no idea. Which was humiliating. I thought I’d lose her as a friend.
We got over that awkward moment pretty quickly, though and we’ve been best friends ever since. She’sbeen through some of my lowest of lows with me, and I wouldn’t trade our friendship for anything.
Robs is scrolling on her phone while we eat, which would bother me with anyone else, but she’s a social media manager for an art gallery in San Antonio, so she’s probably just working since there’s a big exhibit coming up. When she sighs and puts her phone down, I give her a puzzled look.
“You avoided my question, so I had to answer it myself. She’s pretty, though not your usual type. How do you think tonight will go?”
“Okay, fine. She’s pretty in a ‘goes to church every Sunday and always looks put together’ way, I guess. How about I treat you to coffee in the morning and I’ll let you know if we even make it through the date?” I mumble as I gulp down my now lukewarm coffee and toss a twenty dollar bill on the table. “I have some errands to run, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Good luck, Wessy boy. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Robs says, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
I flip her off as I walk out of the diner.
Now it’s time to mentally prepare for my first date-that-isn’t-really-a-date in two years.
Chapter 2
Elli
What’s that saying about God laughing when you make a plan? Well, that’s how my life feels right now- scratch that- the last year. The jury’s still out on whether or not God is real, but if He is, He’s getting some good laughs in at my expense.
I’ve had my life mapped out for me ever since I could remember. I’ve always been told what to do in what order, and they were the only goals I was taught to have.
One: Graduate high school
Two: Go to college, boys like an educated woman. (But nottooeducated. Don’t be smarter than the boys.)
Three: Meet a boy and get married in the temple
Four: Start a family ASAP
If I had to drop out of college to be a full-time mom? Well, that was just God’s plan.
But when I turned twenty-four and my boyfriend of six months still hadn’t proposed, obviously there was something wrong withme. It couldn’t have been God’s plan to be unwed at my age.
I’ve scrimped and saved every penny I could for the last four years in preparation for a life altering event. I just figured it would be a wedding. So eight months ago when my ex broke things off with me, I decided to take control of my life.
Did I think I’d end up moving to Texas because of my sister? Absolutely not. But the idea stuck with me, and when I mentioned it to Izzy, she was totally on board and helped me plan it all out.
Izzy met Luke last summer at a theater camp in St. George, Utah and it was, according to her, “love at first sight.” They’ve been dating long distance ever since, much to the chagrin of my parents who don’t necessarily approve of their relationship. They’ve made it work with daily FaceTime sessions, late night phone calls, and good old fashioned letters. Luke even sends Izzy flowers randomly.
It’s sickly sweet and it makes me want to throw up sometimes, but Izzy is the happiest I’ve ever seen her. I’d never tell her I’m jealous, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. I never had relationships in high school since I spent most of my time doing homework for AP and Concurrent Enrollment classes, as well as taking care of my siblings.
I went on dates, sure, but no one ever saw me as more than a friend. I think most of the time I was just the “in between” date so boys could go on another date with the girl theyactuallyliked without it looking too serious.
Let me elaborate. If you grow up Mormon, you’re often taught you can’t exclusively date someone untilyou’re eighteen and “marriage ready.” So you go on a date with the person youwantto date, but then you go on “filler” dates with friends or people you don’t actually like romantically so you can continue to date the other person.
It’s stupid, but a rule, nonetheless.
In college, I tried to get through as many credit hours as I could in case I met “the one” and ended up getting married and then pregnant. I graduated with my B.A. in three years in preparation to get married, but it never worked out.
