Page 45 of Loving the Sinner
Elli is the warmth of hot cocoa on a chilly winter day. Seeping into your soul and warming you from the inside out until you’re all cozy and content. She’s so selfless she moved across multiple state lines just so her sister could visit her boyfriend more. She’s strong, thoughtful, and beautiful. She’s funny as hell when she’s not all up in her head and worried about what she’s going to say.
Jess wets my hair, then lathers up shampoo that smells like tea tree and matcha before gently massagingmy scalp. It feels so good I feel like I’m going to cry. This is the best part of getting a haircut. Next, she applies a conditioner that smells the same as the shampoo and gently rinses it before wrapping my hair in a towel and leading me back to the chair.
“Now, spill. I’m assuming this girl is Izzy’s sister? Luke said you kind of liked her, but she’s dating Matt? I need the details kid.”
I roll my eyes, of course Luke couldn’t keep his mouth shut. But this is Jess. the closest person to a mom I have.
“Her name is Elli. Matt did take her on a date, but they both decided that they’d be better off as friends. She…” I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words to describe Elli to someone who’s never met her. “She’s like taking a big breath of air after coming up from underwater. I didn’t even know I was holding my breath until she brought me back to the surface, you know?
“I thought I loved Shelby. But I think it was just me feeling like I could offer something to someone. Shelby never loved me, obviously. I don’t know if Elli could love me, since I don’t have a lot to offer, but I’m determined to at least try. I don’t know if I can say I’m in love with her yet, but I’m pretty dang close to it. I was in such a bad writer’s block I couldn’t even pick up my notebook for months. Elli came in and bulldozed the wall I’ve spent the last two years building, and now it’s like there’s songs flowing through my fingertips. She’s the first girl I’ve been interested in since Shelby. I just hope I’m good enough for her.”
Jess spins me so I’m looking at her, a look of determination on her face. “You listen to me, Westley Ray Jones. You are not unlovable because of the trauma you went through. If Elli can’t see that then that is her loss. You have so much to give, Wes. So much love inyour heart, and if she’s smart she’ll see that and she won’t be able to stop herself from falling for you. I’m glad to hear your writer’s block is gone. Your songs are beautiful. You don’t even know how proud of you I am for what you’ve accomplished so far. Your mom and grandma would be so proud of you, too.”
“Damn it, Jess. I wanted to get a haircut, not cry.”
“Well that’s too bad, kid.” She sasses with tears falling down her own face. She swipes them away quickly, back to business. “Okay. Now, tell me about your important show tomorrow while I finish this trim.”
So I do.
When she’s worked her hair magic, I walk out of there feeling more confident than I have in a long time. And not just because of my haircut.
Chapter 20
Elli
Idon’t know why I’m nervous,I’mnot the one that’s performing tonight.
Matt insisted I come, refusing all of my half-assed excuses and picking me up to make sure I didn’t bail.
I want to see Wes perform more than anything, but we’ve barely spoken since Friday and I don’t know if he even wants me to be here.
Instead of bailing, I put on the outfit I bought on Saturday with Robin and Savannah. The denim skirt makes my butt look really good, if I do say so myself. I’ve paired it with a blue ditsy floral spaghetti strap tank top that gives a hint of cleavage, and some brown strappy sandals. It may be simple, but I love it. It’s different from what I would normally wear, but I feel good in it, and I need confidence tonight.
“What if he doesn’t want me here, Matt? He didn’t even mention it to me.” I sound pathetic, even to myself.
Matt gives me a sympathetic look as we park in the parking lot behind the bar. “Elli, trust me, please? Wes wants you here.”
“Okay, I trust you.”
Robin and Sean are waiting at the front entrance of The Voiceless Piano, the bar where Wes is performing.
“Hey, guys! Sav and Drew are saving us a seat inside. Wes is on in ten minutes, so we can get drinks and settle in before he starts.” Robin says as she intertwines our fingers and pulls me in with her into the bar.
The bar isn’t what I expected. I don’t know what I was thinking, probably something small and intimate, but this place is pretty big. It’s got an industrial vibe to it. The walls are all light gray with a big mural of a piano behind the raised platform of the stage. The floors are epoxy and the bar is a big cement slab that spans the length of the entire place. Liquor bottles line shelves upon shelves behind the bar on shelves that look like exposed pipe.
The bar is filled almost to capacity, we have to weave through the sea of people until we find Sav and Drew nuzzling into each other at a table twenty feet from the stage-right in the eyeline of the performer.
Matt offers to get everyone drinks, and as much as I want something to give me a buzz, my stomach is already in knots and alcohol would probably make me feel worse, so I opt for a Shirley Temple.
“Are you ready for Wes’s performance, Elli?” Drew wiggles his eyebrows at me, and Robin shoots him a glare.
“I mean, yeah. I’ve seen some of his stuff on Instagram, but it’ll be good to see him live.”
“He was really excited for this show, said it’ll be one of the most important ones yet.” Sean adds.
Matt returns with our drinks before I can ask him to elaborate, taking the empty seat next to me as the lights flash twice, indicating the show is about to start. As the lights in the bar dim and the ones facing the stage turn brighter, my nerves grow. The knot in my stomach turns into butterflies as Wes steps on stage like he owns it, looking like a fucking wet dream.
He’s wearing his usual black jeans and black boots, but instead of a t-shirt he’s wearing a light gray button-up shirt with the top three buttons undone, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He has half of his hair pulled into a ponytail, the other half hanging down over his shoulders.
