Page 21 of Loving the Sinner
Maybe.
Fine, yes.
As a creative, you’ve gotta create when inspiration hits you, and inspiration hit me at midnight last night as I was lying in bed.
Apparently, all my inspiration needed was a beautiful, curvy girl in a swimsuit to agree to go on a date with my best friend, who is a really great guy. I can’t be mad at either of them.
I’d probably never perform this song live because anyone who knows me would know who I’m talking about and Robin would one hundred percent give me shit on it. And if Elli starts dating Matt seriously, thatmeans she’s going to be part of our group for a long time- possibly permanently- and that would be embarrassing for me to have written a song about another man’s woman.
AlthoughJessie’s Girlis quite the popular song, I don’t see myself as the next Rick Springfield.
I finally put my guitar and notebook down and went to sleep at two a.m. and woke up to my phone buzzing at seven-thirty.
Luke:Mornin Wes! :) I need your help :D
Wes:No. You’ve run out of favors for this decade.
Luke:I’m calling you.
Wes:Please don’t
But the phone rings anyway because of course Luke doesn’t listen.
“What, Luke?” I groan into the phone.
“Well good morning to you too, Wes.”
“Cut to the chase please.” I lean back against my pillows, ready to deny him his favor and go the fuck back to sleep.
“Fine. Izzy and Elli are unpacking all day today…”
I sit upright at the mention of Elli, not hearing anything else Luke is saying. I already know I’ll agree, even if I told myself no.
“...sooooooo… will you drive me? You don’t have to stay, you can just drop me off and leave but I-”
“I’ll be there at nine to pick you up.” I hang up before he can answer.
I’ll just take Luke and drop him. I won’t have to see Elli- maybe just a glimpse.
If I don’t see her, I won’t have to think about Matt’s arm around her shoulder, or his hand on her knee, orhow I missed my chance to ask her out because I was too worried about not being good enough.
Last night after the party, Robin told me that she asked Elli what she wanted in a partner-even though Ispecificallyasked her not to pry-and Elli’s wants were so simple. Romantic gestures? I can do that. Making mundane tasks fun? Hell yeah I can! She said the religion thing was “complicated.” “Complicated” is good, right? I can work with “complicated.”
I spent all of last night thinking about dates I want to take her on, all the things I want to do with her. I would take her to a bookstore and give her five minutes to pick out whatever books she wanted, and I’d buy all of them. I’d take her to Robin’s gallery in San Antonio and then get churros at my favorite churro stand.
I dreamt of the domestic tasks being with a partner would bring. Making dinner side by side, stealing kisses every few minutes. Blasting music and cleaning the house together. I thought of waking her up with breakfast in bed, lazing around together all day, playing guitar for her while she lays next to me on the couch. I thought about asking her to braid my hair, just to feel her hands on me.
And then I remembered that Matt already asked her out.
And she said yes.
It was like someone lit a match and burned up my fantasy.
Drop Luke off at the curb, wait until he’s inside, then leave.I repeat to myself the whole drive to Luke’s, to the donut shop, and the whole way to Elli’s.
“You can just drop me off here, unless you want to come in with me?” Luke asks as we pull into the complex.
“Seeing as I have a mountain of IKEA furniture and another mountain of boxes to unpack…”Elli’s wordsfrom last night pop into my head. IKEA furniture isn’t easy to put together, and, knowing Luke and Izzy, they won’t be much help.Actions over words.
