Page 152 of Madness & Mercy
Cassian smirks. “Sure.I’mthe pain in the ass. Be honest, Nico—how many headaches does he give you a day?”
“Fuck off, Cassian.”
Nico glances at me over the rim of his glass, smiling like he knows exactly how to unnerve me. “Too many to count. But he makes it worth it.”
Cassian laughs, which only pisses me off more.
“You want the story or not?” I snap.
He lifts his hands. “Go on.”
I lean back. “We may look the same, but we’ve neverbeenthe same. Everyone loved him. He got good grades, excelled in sports, made friends everywhere he went, had girlfriends. I… wasn’t wired that way. Most people only bothered with me when they mistook me for him. So yeah, I resented him.”
Cassian’s smirk fades. “Don’t act like you weren’t the smartest one in the family. People liked me, sure. But you—”
“That’s not the point.” My jaw tightens. “You couldconnectwith people. I couldn’t. And I was—” I stop before I say too much.
Cassian fills the silence. “What he’stryingto say is, he shut me out because he thought he wasn’t good enough.”
“That’s not why,” I bite out. “It’s… you felteverything,Cass. You were a sensitive kid. I was the opposite. Iwantedto feel, but I couldn’t. I was broken. And it pissed me off that you didn’t even have to try. So I… pushed myself toward destruction. Because I thought maybe if I destroyed everything, I’d finally feel alive. Maybe everyone would be better off.”
Nico’s hand closes over mine under the table, firm and grounding. “You’renotbroken. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
I pull away, shaking my head. “You don’t get it, Nico. I’m not someone you want to love. I’m not normal.”
He leans in slightly, voice low. “Do I look like I give a damn? Nothing about us is normal.I still love you.”
The words hit too hard. “No, you don’t. Stop saying that! Youcan’tlove someone like me. I don’t even know if I’m capable of it. I’m a fucking sociopath.”
Nico catches my wrist before I can stand, his stare locking me in place. “Even if you were, what makes you think I’d care? I murder for a living.”
“That’s different,” I say sharply. “You do it for your family. I do it to feel something. I lie without thinking. I don’t feel empathy, remorse, guilt… half the things I should. I’d make a shitty partner. You’re better off without me.”
“You’re just scared,” he says quietly. His thumb presses against the rapid beat of my pulse. “You don’t have to be. I’m right here.”
My breath hitches, and I sink back into my seat.
Cassian’s gaze moves between us. “You’re both insane.”
“Thanks, asshole,” I mutter.
“You didn’t let me finish,” he says with a small smile. “You’re both insane… which is probably why you’re perfect for each other.”
Heat crawls up my neck.
Cassian stands, pushing his chair back. “My brother’s never been in love before. He’s not great at expressing it, but—” his eyes flick to Nico “—take care of him, will you?”
I frown. “Cass… you don’t have to go.”
“I know. But you two need space.” He starts to turn away.
“It’s late,” Nico says. “Stay in a guest room. Enzo will drive you in the morning. I’ll wire you something for the trouble.”
Cassian raises a brow. “That’s not necessary.”
“Please. It’s the least I can do.”
Cassian nods once. “Fine. But just so we’re clear, if youeverhurt my brother, I’ll shoot you for real.”
