Page 126 of Madness & Mercy
“Nico, it wasn’t like that—”
“Then what thefuckwas it?” he barks, suddenly erupting. “A game? A job? Did he send you to seduce me too, is that it?”
I shake my head, my throat dry. “No. It changed. Iswearit changed—”
He releases my hair. My head snaps to the side.
“Changed,” he spits. “You’re a fucking liar.”
My vision blurs. I cough, my voice hoarse. “You think Iwantedthis?”
“I think you were made for it.” His voice drops again, quiet and cruel. “You liked it. Didn’t you? Killing for him. Lying to me.”
“Nico—”
“Don’t,”he warns, pressing a hand to my chest, flat and firm, but there’s a tremble in his fingers I almost miss.Almost.
He leans in again, lips grazing my cheek like a threat. “You know what the worst part is?” he whispers. “I would’vekilledfor you. Burned down everything for you. And you were just another fucking knife pointed at my back.”
I can’t breathe. My ribs feel like they’re collapsing.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I say, voice shaking. “I didn’t—”
“But you did,” he growls. “Youdid, Julian. And now you get to live with that.If I let you.”
He stands slowly, looking down at me like I’m something pathetic.
“Last chance,” he says. “Tell meeverything. Or I swear to God, I’ll make Braga look like a mercy kill.”
The room goes silent. And all I can think is:I deserve this.
I clear my throat, but the sound barely makes it past the knot tightening in my chest. My breath stutters. I still can’t look at him.
“I knew you before,” I say quietly. “You just didn’t know me.”
Nico stills. A shadow crosses his face.
“Go on,” he says, voice low.
“I was a cop back then. Detective, actually.” I force the words out, dry and brittle. “I was proud of it. Thought I was doing something good. Thought I was making a difference… if you can believe that.”
A bitter laugh catches in my throat. I swallow it down.
He doesn’t interrupt.
“My unit was tasked with cracking down on organized crime. Undercover ops, surveillance, intel. That’s when your family came on our radar. Yourfather.”
His jaw flexes.
“My assignment was to infiltrate from the inside. That’s how it all started.”
I pause, bracing myself, because this is the part that still tastes like blood in my mouth.
“Your father…he’sthe reason I lost everything.”
Nico doesn’t move, but I see it. The quiet storm building behind his eyes.
“I tried to take the operation down from the inside, but he caught wind of it. Pulled strings, flipped it on me. Sent people after me. Said if I didn’t start running drugs for him, my family would wind up dead. And I was stupid enough to think I could handle it. Thought I could play along, finish the job, then bring the whole empire down.”
