Page 174 of Green Flag
“I adore everything about you,” he continued. “My intention was never to fuck you and leave. I’m so sorry that you thought that of me. It just proves… I’ve got to do better.”
“But,” I started and swallowed, shuffling closer to him and placing my foot between his legs so we were intertwined. “You are already the best.”
He leaned forward to kiss my cheek. “I’ve got some growing to do.”
His forehead rested against mine.
“I don’t know how to not pretend with you,” I admitted, picking at my fingernails.
“Everything that’s happened between us has felt completely natural,” he told me. “Everything has been real to me.”
“Everything?”
“Yes,” he breathed against my lips. “Every laugh, every word, every touch, every smile has been real.”
A knot formed in my throat, making it hard to swallow. “I thought I was going insane. I’ve been so scared.”
“Scared?” he asked, and inched back but I grabbed the back of his head with my hand that wasn’t tangled in his and gently placed his forehead back on mine. I did know how to be with him, it seemed. It was an impulse.
“Scared to name the feelings,” I confessed. “Scared to feel them.”
He reached around to stroke my back and then pulled me to sit between his legs, wrapping me up in his arms. “If you’re scared, we can talk it through. You don’t need to hold back. You’re safe with me.”
Based on my past experience, I definitely couldn’t say I was a good judge of character. But it had been one of my first thoughts about Luca in that hotel bar.
He wasn’t just a protector. He was the shield but had quite literally given me a knife to wield if I needed it. He helped me find my own strength and showed me how to trust myself, like how he trusted me.
“Let’s just be us, Everly.”
I turned in his arms, my head falling back into his shoulder. “Let’s just be us.”
His dimples cut deep lines in his cheek with the brightest smile and I kissed him.
33
Chapter 33
Luca
We stayed up all night talking. We caught up on our lives over the last few months and cuddled each other to sleep. Wrapping myself around her was all the comfort I needed after everything that had happened and all the worries I’d let weaken me over the break.
When I’d seen her in the pit box and watched her avoid me, when she didn’t seek me out privately, I knew she regretted letting me in.
Maybe I’d been too rough.
Maybe I’d shown too many feelings.
So I’d decided to shake off every morsel of emotion in public and busied myself with events and practice. But that didn’t stop the ball of guilt from forming in my chest every time I saw she was drinking on her Instagram — and not texting me. It didn’tstop me from checking her horoscope and wondering how that impacted her day, even if I didn’t believe in that stuff.
Then seeing her lying on the beach, her hair blowing in the sea breeze, I wasn’t sure if I was hallucinating at first.
She hadn’t accepted my love.
Let alone returned it.
But she had feelings towards me and if that was all she was willing to call them for now, that was more than okay for me.
I was down for Everly in whatever way she would have me.
