Page 171 of Green Flag
Because I loved him.
And that tore my heart apart.
BecauseI loved him.
There was no hiding it from myself anymore. I didn’t know what love was, but this had to be it. I couldn’t imagine any other feeling hurting or blessing me so badly.
“I’ll talk to him,” I said to myself, willing it to be true. “Next time I see him, I’ll talk to him.”
In the mean time, I’d plan what on earth I intended to say. The waves of the sea were almost soothing, but they couldn’t stop the chaos crashing in my head or the worry that, to him, I’d been a conquest.
“Everly?” a voice called over the crashing waves.
I froze, mid-bite of my strawberry.
Eyes on the beautiful, clear sky above me, I swore because of course some higher being heard what I said aloud and decided to push that business long before I was ready.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I snapped as Luca jogged over in nothing but gym shorts.
He should be wearing his Crocs. The sand was blisteringly hot.
He frowned, hands on his hips. “Why are you here?”
“Livie said I could stay here instead of the hotel.”
He sighed, shaking his head. “Nix said the same to me. Looks like we’ve been tricked.”
“Livie wouldn’t—”
“But Nix would.”
I nodded. Yep, that was more than likely.
“Well, that means there’s a hotel room for you to go to,” I told him, wiping some sand off my beach towel.
“Hey, I’ve been here for a day already. When did you get here?”
“Two hours ago.”
“If you want me to go, I will. But I can play friendly.”
“Play?” I snapped, my voice as aggressive as the physical blow of his words. “Are we not friends anymore?”
He blinked and slid his hands from his hips. His shoulders relaxed. “I don’t know,” he said. “Are we?”
My nostrils flared. “Get on the bloody towel before you burn your feet off.”
He did so and sat beside me, stealing a strawberry from my bowl.
In the silence that followed, I lay back down and ate another two fruits, picking up my Kindle and not reading a single word.
The awkward tension filled the length of the beach.
When the quiet prolonged and my body locked up, I couldn’t find the words, which had never happened between us.
“You didn’t come to see me after last week’s race,” he said, looking out at the sea.
His voice didn’t break, but there was a false casualness in it. That meant a lot to him.
