Page 105 of Green Flag
Too believable. So believable,Imight start to believe.
“I don’t know,” I sighed and pulled the cover over me, up to my chin. “There are just so many other women here that it’s more realistic for you to be with. Hollie, for example.”
He blinked, pulled the duvet off of him and kneeled beside me. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
His voice rose with confusion. “Why am I more likely to be with them?”
If it wouldn’t make me look like a child, I’d lift the duvet over my face. I took a deep breath before giving the list I’d thought through multiple times. “Prettier, calmer, charismatic, slimmer. Not worrying about another psoriasis flare-up. They have an actual direction for their lives. They know what they want. They have functioning relationships with their families. They aren’t failures.”
There was silence, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at him; I just twisted Mum’s ring around my finger.
Maybe he didn’t speak because he was waiting for me to list more. I might as well even it out to ten.
“Because they’re lovable.”
He flinched, and our gazes collided. Only then did I realise my eyes were filled with tears, and his confused expression was blurred.
“Why do you think you’re unlovable?” he asked so softly it almost sounded like a whisper.
Despite my swallow to stall, my voice still came out broken. “Because I’m an awful daughter. I’m an awful friend. I don’t… I don’t know how to get people to like me.”
He blinked harshly, head inching back as he stroked my shoulder.
Tears were streaming down my face.
He brushed them away with gentle thumbs.
“Why do you think that?”
“My mum… she’s not well. It’s my fault her lupus relapsed and never got better. It wasn’t just my dad cheating on her with Marina that triggered her. It was my relationship with Pedro— she knew all along about us and… she hated it. Hated him. And—and—” I was hyperventilating now. Luca scooped me up and pulled me into his chest, stroking my back.
“You were a teenager, a young adult, Everly. It’s not your fault at all.”
“I can’t look at her.” My words trembled with tears. “I avoid her every chance I get… I can’t see what I’ve done.”
His words were in my hair. “You haven’t done anything. It’s not your fault.”
“But—but—but—”
He tucked my hair behind my ears.
But if I didn’t say this now, I wouldn’t ever.
“I’ve also been shit to you,” I managed to choke out.
He cocked his head to the side but didn’t press.
“I texted Pedro.”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“No, as in… Like, not just after info. I did it for attention.”
He straightened and I hated that whatever emotion that flashed in his eyes could have been hurt.
“After you went to Livie’s room and… God, I’m such a dick.”
