Page 134 of Red Flag
“That’s not what I love most!” he roared. His breathing was hurried, reckless and heaving, just like his chest, as his eyes were intense on mine. “That’s not what I love most.”
“Nix,” I whispered, reaching for him one more time.
“Orloved.”
He might as well have ran me over with his bike.
“Loved?” I asked, voice hoarse.
“Loved,” he confirmed harshly. He bent to pick up his top and threw it on, shaking his head. “Don’t talk to me. Don’t text me. I don’t want to see you in the pit box.”
“Please—”
His finger raising silenced me immediately. “If you need to speak to me about my schedule, do so through my manager.” He turned to look at me, eyes red. “This isn’t you. I don’t know what I’ve done to you, but… this isn’t you.”
“Are we over?” I asked as he opened the door. I didn’t care if Dickson was still out there, I had to know.
He looked from me to his shoes and shut the door behind him.
Chapter 28
For the rest of the weekend, I feigned an illness. It wasn’t hard when I really did have a headache from all the crying. It meant I didn’t see him in the pit box, but I watched them on the TV.
Frank won again.
Nix crashed. Three races with no points and Frank was suddenly four points ahead. With three races left.
He didn’t seem bothered when I went to get my kettle fixed at reception in my pyjamas. He was sitting at the bar withLucaand some of the girls, laughing away.
And at qualifying the week after, he was much the same. Life and soul of the track, whereas I was simply a ghost, going through the motions, eyes heavy, waiting for the article to drop.
Lucagave me weak smiles at every opportunity, but I didn’t care for his pity.
Especially when Cally and her kids were in the pitbox.
My stomach churned with what I’d done, not knowing how it would impact their lives.
Lucahugged her tightly. It had been weeks sinceAlv’spassing, but she looked okay, her smiles pleasant.
For some reason, it hadn’t clicked in my mind.Lucawas the one to warn me that Nix was having an affair with a married woman… had he known? The whole time?
She held on to him, her arms around his neck, not letting him go.
Everyone crowded around her, hugging her, forcing normal chatter and avoiding any conversation about her husband.
I turned and walked to the lockers, throwing my bag in one and taking out my tablet before going behind the partition for a moment’s peace.
My whole body was thrumming with emotion. My swallows were tearful, full of regret. My fists were angry, ready to punch something and probably break a finger.
Normally, intense emotions led to a panic attack.
But I was so exhausted. I fluctuated from being overwhelmingly numb toconcerninglybitter.
Lucawrapped me up in his arms behind the partition and I cried into his chest. He bent to my level, pressed a kiss into my forehead and said, “Nix wants to speak to you. I’m putting my nose where it doesn’t belong, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
And all of those emotions were eradicated by a small light, soothing the twisting in my belly. “He might… he…”
“Then why not text you? Why want to talk to you here?”
