Page 126 of A Lethal Game of Trust
“So do I,” he mumbled into my hair. “I’m so, so sorry, Leonie. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”
Hold me. But at the same time, I didn’t want his touch.
Leave. He could leave, but I needed him. It was pathetic. I should kick and scream at him, refuse to ever speak to him.
But then I remembered the Dominic down at the cove, not wanting to touch me because he was scared he’d hurt me. Despite the desire he’d said he felt. The words he’d said to my Dad.I couldn’t ever hurt her.
My Dom, every version of him, the one that loved me softly as a child, the rebellious teenager, the mafia son who killed the man who took me, the one who had punished himself for years, the one that fucked and loved me brutally.
He couldn’t have hurt me like this. Not intentionally.
“Take me home.”
47
My Darkest and Lightest
Leonie
We drove in silence. His knee was twitching aggressively the whole drive, the screen of his car lighting up with calls from his dad over and over. He rejected them all, putting the ringer on silent so it didn’t jerk me out of my thoughts.
But I didn’t have any.
I just watched as we drove through Darley, the dark sea rushing the shore, the teenagers smoking out on the beach like we had once. I felt the cool sea air against my face, the window down because I needed something to sober me from my racing heart.
“Did you ever tell anyone?”
The words were mine but I didn’t say them, didn’t feel my lips push them out. They were just there.
“No.” His voice was raw, his gaze fixed on the road. “Not a soul.”
“That’s a lot to burden yourself with,” I whispered, picking at my fingernails.
“Don’t,” he said on a deep inhale, eyes closed. “Don’t feel pity for me over this.”
I shrugged, looking back out the window.
We continued like that as we drove further into the seaside town, away from the shoreline towards his apartment. There, I would still curl up into his side.
“Your dad was a good man,” he said. “Can you remember that last night at the cove when he caught us by the pool?”
I nodded and he glanced up to catch the movement.
“He gave me his blessing to date you.”
“I know,” I said, my voice cracking. “He loved you. Always gushed about you.”
Another silence fell upon us and then, as if it tore itself from his chest, he blurted, “I love you, Leonie. I loved you then, love you now, will love you in my darkest and lightest moments. You are the one constant.”
Tears pricked my eyes as I stared out at his road. I swallowed down the declaration I wanted to give because I just couldn’t.
“Don’t say anything,” he added. “Don’t say anything you don’t mean.” He pulled up into the apartment garage and cut the engine. “If you want me to sleep in the spare room, I will. If you want me to call Rocco to watch over you, I can. If you want me to disappear, I will. Whatever you want, Leo.”
I wanted none of those things. Just him.
“I want us to get into bed,” I said, finally looking at him. His eyes were red as if he’d smoked a joint. “I want you to hold me and then I want to sleep for three days straight.”
He nodded with a watery smile. “Yes, that we can do.”
