Page 82 of A Lethal Game of Trust
“Yes!” I shouted. “I will end up liking you and as much as you can bake and fuck all you like without getting attached, Ican’t. Mia told me Jack is a good guy. He won’t lead me on.”
“You don’t even know him—”
“I am going on this date because I want to,” I cut in. “Because I need it. I need to get out there and see a nice guy who isn’t Jared. You told me we aren’t dating, so you’re going to let me date someone else.”
“Like hell I am,” he snapped and took my bicep before trying to pull me to him.
“I need someone I can trust.”
He blinked and his grip on me softened before he let me go.
“You can’t be serious,” he muttered. “You’re not sleeping with me and my friend. That’s fucked, Leonie.”
“But Jack won’t get bored of me,” I snapped. “Jack won’t leave me when I need him the fucking most. When I was grieving, when I was a mess. Jack won’t make rules about my life that I didn’t even know existed.”
I didn’t realise there were tears until I saw the smears on his top as he pulled me close. “You weren’t there,” I sobbed. “And I needed you.”
“I know,” he soothed, stroking my back. “I know. I was a dick. I know.”
But he still hadn’t said sorry.
“You’ve got to go,” I mumbled and pulled away to lean on the kitchen counter. I couldn’t look at him, but his feet stayed fully planted on the wood floor. “Please.”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead and gathered his things.
30
I Don’t Know You
Two weeks after Luís Castillo’s murder
Dom
The ceremony hadn’t been long. Luís was devoutly catholic, but a man with limited time. He would rather people get pissed at the wake than sing songs about Heaven.
When he knew he was going to Hell.
We all were.
The longest part of our time in the church had been Leonie’s eulogy for her father. Her voice had broken multiple times, recovered with weak smiles and looks over at the blown-up picture of Luís.
Her words were beautiful. I tried not to look at her.
Even at the wake at our home, I avoided her. To think, last time we’d had a party here, I’d thrown her into the pool and nearly kissed her. There had been many nearlies.
Everyone was drinking, even the girls were, but I wouldn’t. I watched Leonie closely, while trying to keep my distance.Rebecca was at my side, trying to get me to talk. I pretended I was overcome with grief.
She grumbled something while Leonie spoke to my uncle, his hands wrapped around hers in comfort.
In the last two weeks, I’d hardly seen her, even though she was living in my house. Her scent was everywhere, her things were suffocating. She’d moved in down the hall from my room, but I still managed to avoid her.
Looking behind me to see where Rebecca had gone, Leonie approached. She rested her head on my shoulder and moaned, “This is a lot. I wish this was over.”
Only inches of us were connected, but it was too much. The pressure of her, the warmth. I wanted to touch her, squeeze her, love her. She was touching a monster.
I stepped back.
She stumbled slightly and looked up with a blink. There was at least a foot between us.
