Page 8 of F*ckin' With Me
My brow hitched. I was too tired for this shit.“Who the fuck is this?”
“Oh, um, this is Simonette Brand. I’m not sure if you remember me.”Her voice was soft. It was hard to not remember a name like Simonette. Plus, she did tutor me forlike two years. I wasn’t the kind of nigga who forgot people who helped me.
My brows kissed near the bridge of my nose.“Yeah, I remember you. You were my tutor in college. Why are you calling me? I haven’t spoken to you in umpteen years.”
I knew she wasn’t calling me on some secret baby shit because we never fucked. She didn’t seem like the type that would fall off into drugs and beg anyone. Well, at least back then, she didn’t. Life got a lot of people when they least expected it.
“Oh, okay. Well, I . . . um. I was calling because I needed a favor. Do you remember at graduation that you told me if I ever needed anything, that you had me?”she asked. She couldn’t be serious.
My titter was low.“I mean, yeah, I said that. It’s just something that you say. People don’t really mean it like call me years later on that shit.”
“Oh, okay, yeah, you’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking . . . stupid.”She mumbled the last part.“I’m sorry I bothered you.”
It didn’t seem like much had changed about her timidness. Curiosity came over me. I wanted to know what her favor was.“Wait! What did you need? Some money or something?”After she told me no, I was even more confused.“Well, shit, what you need, Simonette?”
“Well, my sister is getting married next weekend, and I kinda told her that I have a boyfriend, but I don’t. I need someone to pretend to be my boyfriend for a few days. I can pay you,”she rambled.
I didn’t mean to laugh, but how the fuck could I not?“Yo! You can’t be serious. You want me to play your fake boyfriend? Me!”
There was a light huff on the other line.“Yes, I did. I know it’s stupid. Never mind. Please forget I asked.”
She hung up, and my ass was still laughing. Females had lost their fucking minds.Let me go to damn bed.For all I knew, I was already sleeping and having a crazy ass dream.
"Bro! You’re jokin’ right?” Rashad’s laughter was hard and loud. “There is no way a chick asked you to be her fake boyfriend for her sister’s wedding. That shit is bonkers.”
We finished practice a few hours before and were at his spot chilling. I’d just told him about the crazy ass call that I got from Simonette that night. “Nah, I’m not. I wish I was.” I shook my head. “I haven’t seen that chick since graduation day, then boom! She wants to hold on to an empty statement I made about if she ever needed anything, that I had her.”
“I told you that, as much of an asshole as you are, you are a giving nigga. You should have never told that girl that,” Rashad said. “Ole girl must be ugly as fuck to have to need a fake boyfriend. Shit is tragic.”
I thought about the Simonette that I remembered. “Nah, if she still looks like she did in college, she’s far from ugly. She was just your typical, awkward black girl. You know, the never cared about her appearance, wore baggy sweats, dirty sneakers, and hair always in a bun, kinda girl. The one time she did dress up, it was for a graduation party that I invited her to.” I took a sip of my beer and stared off. “She wore a damn dress you would wear to damn church.”
“Have you looked her up on social media?” Rashad asked. When I told him that I hadn’t thought to, he pulled out his laptop. “Let’s get to that shit. Hell, I want you to do the shit regardless because I’m coming too. Weddings mean lonely pussy.”
He had a point. I told him her name as I remembered it. When he entered her name into the search engine, the first thing that popped up was an article about a criminal murder case. We scanned the article. “Wow, I see she accomplished her goal. She wanted to be a forensic scientist back in college.”
There were several articles about cases that she’d been the lead forensic investigator on. She was featured in an article about her work with an organization that worked to exonerate people who were wrongfully convicted and her goal to lessen the number of sexual assault kits in the state. “Damn, seems like she’s great at her job. She’s also not ugly, but yeah. I can tell she’s a Lavender kind of chick,” Rashad pointed out.
I chuckled at his reference to my sister’s favorite movie. “Let’s see if she has an IG page or something,” I said. “Maybe she’s different in her personal life.”
“You could be right,” he said. He looked her up on the blue book first. Yeah, she had a page, but she didn’t post much. She was tagged in more pictures than she had on her page. “That must be her sister.”
Simonette’s sister was beautiful like her. “They’re polar opposites in vibes, but they look alike.” I pointed at the screen. “Shit, they’re their mother’s twin on some doppelganger shit.”
Rashad’s eyes cut to me with that familiar look that told me I was about to be someone’s fake boyfriend. “Dude, get the details from her ass. If you don’t want to do it, then I will.”
“Let’s look a little more into her. I’ll make my decision after that.” We scoured her social media to find that in most of the pictures she took, she was in the attire that I remembered washer favorite outfit, oversized sweats. If she wasn’t in that, she was in what looked like work clothes. All the pictures she was tagged in, she was dressed completely different, and she looked uncomfortable. None of her smiles met her eyes.
I pulled out my phone then went to her number in my call log. My decision was made. She picked up the line right before it went to voicemail.“Hello.”
“Aye, I want to meet to discuss this fake boyfriend thing. When and where do you want to meet?”She said it was a wedding weekend, so I needed to know what I had gotten myself into.
My words were caughtin my throat.He really is considering being my fake boyfriend.I had settled in my mind that I would just have to be made out to be the liar I was.“Hello, Simonette?”
“Oh, yes! I’m sorry. I’m just surprised that you are considering it.”I hated how I sounded like a babbling buffoon. He repeated his question about when and where to meet.“You can come to my house so I can give you the details. I’m free tonight. Well, I’m free every night.”
There was silence on the other end for a moment.Did he hang up on me?“Cool. Is seven good for you?”
“Yes, that works. I’ll text you my address.”We said see you later then hung up.
