Page 94 of Away With You
“Especially?” I probe when she breaks off, her voice trembling.
Her chest hollows out as she folds into herself. “Especially after you said you’d never be over it. Over her.”
Katie’s words bounce around in my head like she’d said them in Japanese. They made just as much sense to me as a foreign language.
“What are you talking about?”
She gets up to pace, wringing her hands as she stares off into the distance. “The night of the Stag Do? When you were drunk. You told me you’d never be over it. Victoria.”
I sink back onto the sun lounger, puzzling over her words. “Are you sure?”
“Yes! I’ve been going over it and over it in my head. And then I heard Victoria at the spa day talking about how you’re not over her and how much you want her back, and now this. What am I supposed to think, Nathan?”
My world tilts at the pain in her voice, my heart racing with my need to fix this. “I wish you’d said something earlier, Kitty Kat. I would have told you the truth. I’ve always been honest with you.”
She stops pacing. “And the truth is?”
“The truth is, I probably won’t ever fully get over it”—she gasps, and I rush to continue—“It, the betrayal. What she andmy brother did cut me to the core. I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive either of them.”
Katie sits down next to me, not right next to me, but close. “I get that. I do, Nathan. No one would expect you to get over it. But what about the rest of it? What about what I saw this morning? She wanted to know if you still loved her, and you didn’t say no. You hesitated.”
My brows furrow as I replay the scene in my mind.Is that what happened?“Perhaps I did,” I concede. “For a moment, I guess I did hesitate. I was so shocked by the gall of the woman that she’d actually say these things to me on her wedding day. After everything she’d done. But I did push her away. And I told her in no uncertain terms that I was over her. That I didn’t love her. That I lo—was with you.” I stumble over my words, wanting to say them to her, but not in this moment. Not when she’s staring at me like…that.
She leans away from me while I’m desperate to have her lean into me. “I feel like I’m going crazy here, Nathan. You’re making me doubt my own eyes.”
Too restless to stay seated, I get up to pace again. “I’m not trying to do that. I’m trying to tell you that what you saw isn’t how it happened. Yes, I was in that chapel with Victoria, and I let her get too close. I indulged her too much. That’s on me. I should have left the minute she arrived with that calculated look on her face. The minute I laid eyes on her, I knew I’d been manipulated by her, by my mother. That they were up to no good. And I let it happen. Again, that’s on me. By doing that, I let them hurt you. But you have to believe me. When she asked me if I loved her, I told her no. I don’t love her…”
She sits up tall, holding her hand out to halt my steps. “Are you sure?”
I nod and step closer to her, crouching before her again and steeling myself for what I’m about to say next. What I shouldhave said yesterday and all the days before. “How can I love her, Kitty Kat, when I’m all the way in love with you?”
She freezes and her eyes squeeze shut. “I can’t hear that right now,” she whispers, standing to move away from me.
My chest aches, and I rub it, clearing the lump in my throat before asking. “Okay, what do you want to hear?”
“What happened next?”
“Next?”
Streaks of pink highlight her cheeks as her chest heaves. “Yes, Nathan. Next. I left you in the arms of your ex-girlfriendhoursago.”
I clench my jaw. “Right, yes. I was gone too long.”
“Too long?” she echoes. “You were gone for hours. Where did you go?”
This is not going well; she still doubts me.
“After I pushed Victoria away,” I force out through gritted teeth. “I went to find George. To tell him what happened.”
She deflates. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.” I step closer to her again, hating this dance we’re doing. One step forward, two steps back. Literally. “When I got to him, he was already a few drinks into his bottle of whiskey, and it was a…messy conversation, to say the least.”
“What happened?”
“First, he didn’t believe me. He ranted and raved. Even took a swing at me.”
She gasps. “He didn’t?”
