Page 98 of Away With You
“What are you doing here?” I croak, my throat dry, my poor body dehydrated from the sheer volume of tears I’ve been shedding.
His eyes lock with mine. “Can I come in? Please?”
I glance at Jade, who tilts her head in encouragement. “Um, sure?”
“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Jade says with a kind look at the man standing in front of her. “Be patient,” she adds.
His shoulders straighten, and he nods. “I will.”
My best friend blows me a kiss and mouths the words “Be brave” before she closes the door, leaving the two of us alone.
“Would you like some tea?” I offer to break the silence. And also, because I’m British. It’s impolite to have someone in your flat and not offer them a cup of tea.
Nathan’s lips twitch as Nuke jumps from my arms and winds her way through his legs, purring loudly with pleasure. The little traitor who rejected me since I got home, refusing to offer me even a glance in comfort, appears to be more than happy to show her affection to him.
“How about I make you a cup?” he offers, scooping up my cat into his arms and looking adorable. I force myself to look away; hardening my heart to the both of them.
I point to the empty cup in front of me. “I’m fine. What are you doing here? We agreed to take some space.”
He sits down on the opposite end of the couch, pining me with his serious eyes. “You decided we needed space. I don’t agree.”
I scoot closer to my edge of the couch, drawing my blanket around me like a shield. “But Nathan, nothing has changed since I left you. I still need time to figure this out. To sort through all of this.” I point to my head and blink away tears.
His expression is pained as he stares at me. “That’s where I’m struggling, Kitty Kat. Why do you need time? What do you need to figure out? If you know nothing happened with Victoria, what changed?”
My heart pinches, and I rub my palm over my chest to soothe it. “I told you. I’m scared.”
“So you ran away?” His sigh is ripe with disappointment.
“I’m taking time. I can’t concentrate when you’re around, saying all the right things and looking like that.”
His lips twitch as he leans closer. “But, you see, that’s where things are going wrong. You’re doing too much thinking and not enough feeling.”
My heart leaps at this, wanting to get in on the action, wanting to have its say. “You’re fighting a losing battle, asking a scientist not to think so much.”
He smirks. “Fine, how about this? How about we talk about what’s going on in your beautiful brain? Why can’t we figure this out together?”
I hate that he’s being so reasonable. “Nathan, I told you, I’m scared. No amount of talking is going to fix that.”
“You’re scared? Of me?”
“I’m scared of us. Of what we could be. Of how you could end up breaking me.”
He flinches, his eyes wide with shock. “Do you think I’d do that to you?”
“You did it this morning. Without meaning to, you hurt me. Youhurtme.”
He leans forward, his eyelids fluttering closed. “I’m so sorry I did that to you. Your heart should have been safe with me.”
I nod, tears stinging my nose and eyes again. “So, you see, me leaving was for the best. We needed space. Everything was happening too fast…”
He inches closer. “Was it really so fast?” His breath tickles my face. “Because I’ve been crushing on you since I was seventeen years old.”
I push him gently. “Be serious, Nathan. We only reconnected a month ago. And this all started out as a farce. As pretend. I never thought it could be real.”
He takes my hand and places it over his thumping heart. “It’s very real to me, Katie. What I feel for you has always been real.”
My heart thunders along with his, and I swallow down a lump in my throat. My resolve to keep him at a distance weakens.
