Page 48 of The Monster I Loved
“Okay. I understand why John Fitzgerald would want you to help their image. I just worry this will be difficult for you.” Marni cleared her throat.
I smiled, and Marni looked alarmed. “What’s so funny?”
While John thought he was using me, I got exactly what I needed.
I spoke slowly, focusing my gaze on the glass of water on the table in front of me. “Everything was robbed from me because of him. My dad, years ago, along with the love of my favorite holiday. My friend group is now in shambles. The profession I adored and my favorite passion project is now also gone. Meanwhile, Thaddeus and the Fitzgeralds are unscathed.”
“Let’s not talk about them right now. I want to focus on your options. Is there any other way out of this than working for the Fitzgeralds? With your attempted murder, which we’ll need to talk more about, by the way, I don’t think it will be healthy for you to spend any kind of time with Thaddeus.”
My grin returned. “Well, it might not happen. John still needs to convince Thaddeus. He may be hell-bent on sending me to prison.”
Shaking her head, Marni studied me. “Do you still think about killing him?”
Hell fucking yes! It was the only thing motivating me to get out of bed every morning. I shook my head and looked her right in the eye.
“No. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Killing Thaddeus won’t bring my dad back. It was a moment of temporary insanity.” The words weighed on my tongue, a crushing pressure that had me feeling sick again. Ugh, this wasn’t a Disney show.Of courseI’d crave the release of finally getting back at Thaddeus. The people who said that ‘hurt doesn’t solve hurt’ were the type of people who’d probably never gone through serious trauma in their lives.
They didn’t know what it was like to see the same guy who drove a bullet through your dad’s brain gleefully go on to ruin other people’s lives by taking away their homes.Imagine going to prison for more than a decade, and you still haven’t learned a thing.
I could never see eye to eye with that man. In fact, just forcing that comment from my mouth sickened me to the point I needed to sprint to the bathroom.
Thaddeus
My father’soffice was large but not big enough to contain the shock flowing through me as I twisted the cap off the water bottle, his suggestion still ringing in my ears. Since my release, I understood the difficult situation my father was in. Thanks to me taking revenge and not being clear-headed enough to not get caught, it left him without anyone blood-related to hand downhis shares to, and I’d been reasonably willing to remediate that by marrying Mimi, even if I was already massively regretting that choice. But the man had crossed a line with this suggestion.
“Hell no.”
“Thaddeus, be reasonable,” he said as if he had any real authority over me. It made my blood boil. To resist the temptation of swinging my fist straight into the wall, I had to dig my hands into my sides.
Fuck that. “I don’t need to be any damn thing. Summer is my business. You don’t have a say in this.” My anger exploded as he sat in his office chair, expressionless and unmoving. Like he couldn’t give a damn. Not one flicker of emotion in his eyes?
“We’re almost there. Everything is going as planned. Half the idiots at the business forgot you have a murder charge.” He spoke with an air of boredom. I wanted to reach across the table and shake some sense into him. How could he turn toSummerof all people? Forgetting the fact that she’d tried to murdermenot too long ago, the men under my father did not forget about my history. No one in the town did, but because these guys were under Fitzgerald’s payroll, they just knew there was nothing they could do. I was the boss’s son. Nothing he said would help here. “I’m not dropping shit.”
We went back and forth for well over thirty minutes. My father did most of the talking since I had made myself clear. When he was out of breath and seemed done, I turned to leave. “Give your shares to charity. Hell will freeze over before Summer works at Fitzgerald.”
The day passed quickly,and I left work early to enjoy some Halloween festivities and distract myself from the shit-show mylife had become. Henry was trying to spend more time with his son, Wylie, since his breakup with Ashley. We met outside the Tarrytown library, near Patriots Park. I hadn’t been there since I was a child. Henry and I used to go there a lot as kids, and now, we were bringing his son to enjoy pumpkin carving. The nostalgia in the air between us was strong, along with the faint scents of dusty books and lavender air freshener. Part of me wondered how this library event might have played out if things had been different. If my plans of having three children had worked out, would they be here with us, eager to scoop out pumpkins with Wylie?
“Henry, over here!” I called to my friend when I spotted the pumpkin table.
“Shh. This is still a library,” an elderly lady said, widening her eyes at me. “Little Thaddeus Fitzgerald.”
I was definitely not so little anymore, but to Mrs. Lin, I’d always be that energetic boy playing computer games who celebrated too loudly every time he won.
“Hi, Mrs. Lin.”
She hugged me and stepped back. Tears were in her eyes. Really, after I outgrew computer games, I never stepped foot in the library. She was just someone I saw once, maybe twice a year, around town.
“I heard you were back. Welcome home.”
“T-T-Thanks.” Her reaction caught me by surprise. She patted my arm and walked away.
I made my way back to Henry and Wylie.
“You excited to carve pumpkins, Wylie?”
We were bros now. My little guy gave me a hug, and I scooped him up. “Ready to make the scariest pumpkin ever?”
“Yes!” Wylie screamed.
