Page 36 of The Monster I Loved
As I pushed the cart to the next aisle, all I could think about was Thaddeus and his father, and how quickly they’d moved to influence the Jonas family.
But how?
I’d never understand rich people. I thought Jonas was happy to be charitable, but the sudden withdrawal was strange. I’d probably never know what the Fitzgeralds had done to make that happen. It wasn’t like I could just ask and expect a straight answer.
On my way home, as the groceries I’d bought sat in my trunk, the desire to be healthy vanished, and I decided to swing by and grab some Chinese food for dinner. Tomorrow, I’d eat healthily.
Once I arrived home and devoured my takeout, I opened a Halloween candy bag I’d finally bought for the kids and got to work. Stress eating wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism, but that didn’t mean it was unhelpful. The damn Fitzgeralds won again, and there I was, licking my wounds while Thaddeus was somewhere smiling and celebrating, probably with that bitch lawyer of his.
A knot formed in my chest.Damn them both. They were pieces of garbage. They deserved each other. I’d prefer it if they were miserable together. The idea they could possibly be happy made me want to puke up my meal.
Thaddeus was the one I was truly annoyed with. Mimi was just a gold digger doing her job. I didn’t like her, but she was a (mostly) innocent bystander. Thaddeus’s return had ruined my life. Things had been trundling along nicely before that. As long as Thaddeus was here, I’d never be satisfied. Scratch that; as long as Thaddeus was alive, I’d never be satisfied.
He had to die.
I’d never be able to be the bigger person. I could never forgive him. He was right. There were just some things no one could forgive.
I hadn’t told anyone. Hell, I’d barely been able to admit it to myself, but I’d been so scared of Thaddeus returning to town that prior to his release, I’d already started the process of getting a firearm. Just as a precaution, obviously.
New York State made me jump through so many hoops. After applying for a permit, they’d made me take their safety courses.
But what if part of me had gone through all of those motions for reasons other than just my safety?
I might have been preparing for something else.
Maybe I wanted to do to Thaddeus what he did to my father. The waiting period after the background check had felt like forever, but now I was finally free to go out and buy a firearm.
Was I really thinking about murdering the monster I once loved?
A slow smile spread across my face. I really was. My breath was slow and calm. I wasn’t just talking out of my ass this time. I didn’t care if killing Thaddeus with a registered gun would lead them right back to me.
“I’m going to fucking kill him. The police can come arrest me when I’m done.”
9
I WILL SURVIVE
Thaddeus
Since Mimiand I got engaged, a lot had happened. The one perk had been that she’d been pretty frisky. The woman had a high sex drive and was down to fuck at any opportunity. A surprise blessing for someone who’d been locked in a cell for ten years. At first, she wowed me with her flexibility and creativity in the bedroom...some of the things she did to my cock were unbelievable.
But the appeal had faded within days, and now I could barely cope with listening to her grating voice.
Every time she opened her mouth, my mind wandered away. As the news played in the background, we sat at the breakfast table. She sat across from me in a shirt cut so low the top of her nipple almost peeked out when she spoke, yet all I had on my mind was the Halloween party I was hosting. I wasn’t even sure what she was talking about anymore. For years, my mom hosted an early Halloween party so as not to compete with the ones happening closer to the actual day. Now that I was back, Iwanted to reignite the tradition. Of course, Mimi thought it was childish. I zoned back in to her words.
“So, you’ll open your house to a bunch of strangers, have them eat all your food and drinks, for what?”
I thought that was pretty clear. “For fun.” I shrugged.
She folded her arms, pushing her cleavage up even higher. “It seems pretty childish to me.”
The urge to roll my eyes won out. “Who cares what you think?”
Why were we even debating this? I loved Halloween, and I was carrying on my mom’s tradition to throw an early party. “You don’t even have to attend. Actually, I’d prefer it if you didn’t. You’d spoil it.” I knew I sounded sulky, and I didn’t care.
She raised her eyebrows at me, mouth hanging open in shock. “I see you woke up in a mood.”
“No, I didn’t. You just put me in one.” I left the room without saying another word. Since my release, my tolerance for drama queens had been on the floor. I wasn’t about to tolerate snarky replies because of a fake marriage.
