Page 36 of Shadows Within
Our chests rise and fall in sync as we catch our breaths. His thumb brushes over my lip, where he bit me.
“You bleed so sweetly for me.”
Clarity
Scarlett
I spray washer fluid onto my windshield, wiping away the frost. Long over are the days of t-shirts and jeans. It’s the end of fall and I’m not looking forward to Millhaven’s cold and dark winters. It’s so hard to get out of bed most days when the sun sets early and rises later. But today, something is different.
Cool heat blasts inside my car on the way to campus. I keep thinking about how to explain last night to Sophia. She’ll be able to tell that something’s up, and I don’t want to keep anything from her. Maybe I don’t have to tell hereverything.
What do I even say?I have no idea how to explain anything related to Callum. I try to make practical sense of what last night meant, but all I can think about is how bad I want it to happen again. He keeps opening up to me in ways I don’t expect.Does that make things okay?
I pull into the campus parking lot, turn off the car, and give myself a pep talk.Okay. You can do this, nothing has changed. Go to class, box, then go home. It’s simple.
Except it’s so damn messy. Everything has changed. There’s nothing simple about anything in my life right now.Great pep talk.
I grab my bag and walk toward the coffee bar. I pull a tube of lip gloss out of my bag and put on a thin coat.
Look good, feel good, right?I try to channel everything I’ve learned from the last four years to guide me. How am I supposed to help others if I can’t stop spiraling about a guy. Or am I being too hard on myself?
I spot Sophia in the courtyard as I walk over to the coffee shop.
“Scar!” She holds two drinks.
“Thanks, Soph.” I grab my drink from her and faintly smile.
“I was thinking, maybe next weekend we could go out together?” She always has a plan.
“Where?”
“There’s this new club that opened. I figured a little post midterm fun wouldn't hurt?” I’m hesitant, but I do think I need a night out with Soph.
“Sure?” I respond, in more of a question than an answer.
“Sure?” She looks me up and down. “You aren’t going to make me beg you or put up a fight?”
I shrug. “We both know that you’ll convince me anyways, so I might as well just say yes now.”
“Who are you and what have you done with Scarlett Voss?” She links her arm with mine. “Seriously. Should I be worried?”
I don’t have it in me to hide the truth from my best friend. The momentary silence is enough to make her frown.
“I had sex with Callum,” I blurt out.
Wow, smooth Scarlett.
Sophia gasps. “Tell me everything and don’t leave out a single detail.”
A small, awkward laugh escapes my mouth. “We just… had sex.”
“Okay. You need to start at the beginning. Since when are you and Callum awe?I can’t believe you didn’t tell me things escalated.” She looks slightly offended.
“It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you. And we aren’t awe,Soph. He just…” I smile. “It’s complicated. It might not work out. I’m just letting whatever happens, happen. Callum is complex. Dark. Messy.”
“Do you want it to work out?” She asks me the question I’ve been too nervous to ask myself.
“I don’t know what I want.” I pause and stare at the people that pass us. “But the sex, I want that again.” We laugh together.
