Page 67 of Shadows Within
I open my mouth as the liquid runs down my chin. He uses his other hand to caress my cheek. “Now swallow.” He closes my mouth with his thumb.
I swallow all that remains of him as I sit back up.
“Good girl.” He pulls me on top of him as we lie on the floor. I look up at the ceiling while his fingers trail up my neck.
“I hate that they took so much from you, Scarlett. I can’t give it back, but I’ll do everything I fucking can to make sure you never feel like that again.” There’s a pain in his voice I’ve never heard before.
“Do you know them?” I don’t know why I ask, he’s made it clear I’ll never know.
He looks to me, his eyes saying everything he can’t. He sighs and pulls his pants up. He can’t give me the answers I want.
“I don’t blame you, Callum. You didn’t know. I just want—”
“I blame myself!” His loud tone startles me. “I blame my fucking self!”
I stand and grab my shirt. I can’t look at him. I don’t know what to say. I pull it over my head as I hear his belt fasten.
“What are you not telling me?” His footsteps come closer, then I feel his lips on top of my head. He lingers for a moment.
“Callum—” I turn around, “fucking look at me!”
His eyes fill with unfamiliar tears as he squints.
“That’s all I can give you, Scarlett.” He doesn’t break eye contact and runs his hand through his dark hair. “Please. I can’t.” He’s not asking, he’s begging.
I don’t move to watch him leave. Instead, I stare at the empty place where he stood. The door shuts and anxiety floods back in.
I’m so fucking mad at him. He doesn’t understand— nothing he can say is worse than not remembering. I walk over to my bed and flop on it. I turn off my bedside lamp and get under the covers.
I want to call him, but I can’t. I need space. I pick up my phone and call Sophia. She answers on the second ring.
“Hey Scar. Whatcha up to?”
“Not much. You?”
“Oh, just trying to finish this damn assignment.”
“Sorry for bugging—”
“You could never bug me, you’re my best friend.”
“Want to go for a drive tomorrow?”
“Uh, yeah sure.” The suggestion of a drive means I have something to talk about. “Is everything okay, I can come over now?” Her tone changes.
“Oh no, everything is good. I just wanted to chat.”
“Okay, yeah. I’m free after my first class. I’ll grab us coffee and meet you at the parking lot?”
“Sounds like a date.”
“Can’t wait. Love you, Scar.”
“Love you too, Soph.”
I hang up. I don’t know if I feel better or worse. There’s so much I haven’t told Sophia about, and I can’t really explain without telling her everything.
I place my phone on the table and try to turn my mind off.
