I laugh so rarely that I hardly recognize the sound leaving my throat. When was the last time a woman made me feel…anything? Fuck, I like this curvy beauty. I like her a lot.
 
 Joel: Does neon orange offend you? I can take them off.
 
 There are several beats with no response. No text bubble to indicate she’s typing one. I fear I’ve crossed a line. Hell, I’ve known this woman less than twelve hours. I’m sure she gets hit on all the fucking time, and here I go, one step away from being one of those assholes who sends her unsolicited dick picks.
 
 I’m in the middle of typing out an apology when a text appears.
 
 Kylie: Or I could come over and take them off of you myself.
 
 I sit up straighter, certain I’m misreading that text. Or maybe I passed out the minute I got home and I’m dreaming this whole conversation.
 
 Joel: Don’t say things you don’t mean, sweetheart.
 
 Kylie: Would I offend your girlfriend if I showed up in a matching bikini?
 
 My dick hardens fully now, the image of Kylie dressed in a skimpy bikini crawling into my hot tub and right onto my lap working me up. I’m also amused that she’s fishing for information.
 
 Joel: Jealous?
 
 Kylie: Nope.
 
 Kylie: I just don’t believe in trespassing on someone else’s territory.
 
 Hot and respectful.
 
 I’m a fucked man.
 
 Joel: No girlfriend.
 
 Joel: And before you ask, no, I haven’t fucked anyone in my hot tub.
 
 Kylie: Why not?
 
 Joel: This is the first time I’ve ever used it.
 
 Kylie: Is it new?
 
 Joel: I’ve had it for three years.
 
 Kylie: What? Really?
 
 Joel: I’ve been busy.
 
 Kylie: For 3 years???
 
 Joel: Yeah…
 
 Kylie: Well now you have to pick me up.
 
 The steam of the hot tub makes it harder to keep my screen clear. I pull myself out of the water and grab a towel, already decided that I’m heading straight for the hotel. But because I enjoy this back and forth banter, I don’t immediately admit my plan.
 
 Joel: I do?
 
 Kylie: Yes.
 
 Joel: Why?
 
 Kylie: Because I’m going to be the first woman you fuck in that hot tub, Petty Officer Pierson.