Page 80 of A Place in the Sun
Sebastian is now between twononnas, who are making sure his plate is never empty.
I look at Aimee, next to Stella, and there, among them all, I can see Marco, eating and drinking. He turns to me, lifts his wine glass and smiles. He didn’t leave. He’ll never leave. He is part of our past and our present. He will always have a place at the table and in our hearts, in our future. It’s okay to have a future, I realize. It’s okay to have fun. I look at Sebastian, who looks back across the crowded table at me, as if he’s hoping I’ll save him from thenonnas … I find myself smiling.
We finish our plates of lasagne, mop them with freshly baked bread and wash it down with glasses of spicy red wine. It’s delicious.
Slowly, I stand, collect plates and move towards thekitchen. People are talking and laughing and I don’t want to interrupt that. I head to the sink.
‘Thea!’
It’s Sebastian. He looks exhausted and rather too full.
‘It’s all I could do to get away from thenonnas. I have a feeling they’re trying to keep you and me apart. But, really, I need to speak to you.’
I smirk inwardly at the thought of thenonnas, still trying to stage an intervention between me and Sebastian, to match-make Giovanni and me.
‘Come with me,’ I say, leading him to the pantry. ‘We’ll say we’re getting dessert.’
In the cool of the whitewashed room Sebastian loosens his tie and lets out a little burp. ‘Excuse me. It was excellent lasagne. Just rather a lot of it. Do you mind if I sit?’ He points to the chair that is used for reaching high shelves … or for Nonna Teresa to sit on when they’re hiding in here, I think, with a smile, remembering them all squashed in when they tried to set up Giovanni and me. We still need to clear the air on that one.
‘The weather is lovely now. Much more settled. The storm seems to have cleared the air,’ Sebastian remarks.
How very British of him. And Sebastian is wonderfully British. ‘It has. Both in the weather and for me too,’ I say softly.
‘It has?’ he asks.
‘I have …’ I falter as I remember what I’m giving up.The chance to be with a good man, a solid man … but not my man, I think.
In the background I can hear the children laughing. This may not be what I planned. But it is an adventure. A new beginning in a place full of love, and that feels like a good place to start.
‘I’m sorry, Sebastian. Thank you, but I’ve come to realize the past is a place I shouldn’t go back to. La Tavola has shown me that. The past is a wonderful place, with beautiful memories.’
‘Like the pub when we got stranded.’ We laugh.
‘Exactly. But it’s not a place to stay. Time moves on. And there is a new beginning out there for both of us. A whole new future.’
He looks down.
‘That’s not to say we can’t be a part of that … just not the whole of it,’ I say. ‘I want to know all about your adventure and your move to Wales. I just can’t come.’
He nods. ‘Where will you go?’
‘I don’t know … but I know it’s to the future, and this time I really am fine!’
He stands up. ‘Be happy, Thea!’ he says.
‘And you, Sebastian. Thank you for making me realize that, well, this is just the start of a new journey.’
He holds out his arms and hugs me. It’s a comforting hug. A safe place. But it’s not the place I want to be.
I hear shuffling in the kitchen, crockery being put down.
‘We’d better help clear up or people will wonder where we are.’
‘Hiding out in the pantry!’ He opens the door, smiling now.
I see Giovanni turning away and walking back into the dining room. ‘Giovanni! Wait! I need to …’
But he doesn’t stop walking.
