Page 78 of A Place in the Sun
They nod as one, unabashed.
‘You would make the perfect pair.’ Nonna Lucia is sidetracked for a moment.
Nonna Teresa clasps her hands, misty-eyed. ‘We want you to be happy.’
‘You are so right for each other,’ they all say in unison, nodding.
I cough, blushing and embarrassed for Giovanni.
‘However, two people have to feel the same way about each other. You can’t just hope that your feelings will be shared,’ I say. Am I wearing my heart on my sleeve? I wish there was somewhere to hide. ‘So, the lasagne?’ I clap my hands together. ‘Whose are we making?’
Nonna Rosa straightens again. ‘I have offered to share the lasagne recipe with my sister and sister-in-law. You’re right. Perhaps I needed to remember that we can’t make ourselves feel better by denying others. It’s about team work.’
‘Well, that’s great news!’ I’m grateful that this hasn’t turned into some ugly scene about whose lasagne recipe we’ll use. ‘So we’re making your family lasagne?’
‘No,’ they declare.
Luca and Aimee are giggling.
‘We will not be making any of our lasagnes today,’ Nonna Rosa informs me.
My spirits plummet.
I stare at Giovanni. Was all this hard work for nothing? They’re not going to make the lasagne. How can we finish the cookery course without teaching the dish that people have paid to learn?
35
‘So, that’s it!’ I throw up my hands up in despair. ‘You’re going to let La Tavola go under. Don’t you see the hard work that Giovanni has put into this place? How can you? If we don’t pull off a big Sunday lunch for our final day, the company won’t pay! We won’t get the money to save La Tavola! Don’t you see what you’ve all got right in front of you?’ Suddenly, every bit of frustration bubbles up in me and boils over, like milk on the stove.
‘No,Mamma, it’s fine!’ Luca puts a hand on one of my arms.
‘It’s not, Luca,’ I explain. ‘Giovanni is a good, big-hearted man. He’s impulsive and he came to care for this place. For all of you. As we have done. Making it feel like home when we needed it. You have everything that everybody is searching for here, a communitybased on love. You all love each other, even if you find it hard to show it. We all do.’ I catch Giovanni’s eye. ‘It’s hard when you’ve been hurt. You don’t want to go there again. You don’t want to repeat the same patterns, so you keep your heart safe, wanting to hold on to the memories of the past, which make you feel you were special. But time moves on. Your heart will heal if you let it. There is still a place for the memories, but don’t let the memories, good or bad, ruin the chance of a happy future. Don’t end up lonely and not following your heart because you’re scared of being happy again. Don’t let everything we want for this place be ruined over lasagne. This was never about lasagne. It was about so much more. Vying for your mother’s attention, feeling let down by your sister who married the man you loved, and trying to stop change happening, which you can’t do, because everything changes! It just does! And you have to change with it or get left behind, sad and alone. It takes bravery, but sometimes you have to listen to your heart and hear what it’s telling you. Ignore your head!’
I find myself staring straight at Giovanni and him at me, as if, for a moment, no one else is in the room, which is silent. I clear my throat. I may have said more than I intended, telling myself exactly what I needed to hear and what’s in my heart. I give another little cough to try to bring my thoughts back to what I wanted to say. ‘We’re here to save what matters to us all, where wehave all been made welcome. La Tavola. To leave hurt in the past and celebrate those we love.’ I’m still gazing at Giovanni.
‘Nothing says love like lasagne does,’ says Pietro, quietly. We all turn to him and smile. There’s a tear at the corner of my eye that spills.
‘You’re right,’ I say, and finally turn away from Giovanni. I may not have him in my life. There is so much unsaid between us. When thenonnas set us up, he wasn’t here looking for a date with me. But maybe the problem was me: perhaps he understood I wasn’t ready to move on from Marco. But the one thing I do know is that my children have never been happier in the last couple of years than they have been here, with Giovanni and Stella in their lives. With all of the village in their lives.
Nonna Rosa speaks: ‘Like we said, we’ve made a decision on today’s menu.’
I raise my eyebrows and shake my head at her, frustrated.
‘But I’ve promised them lasagne. I can’t change it now!’ I throw up my hands. ‘Like Pietro told us, nothing says love like lasagne.’
‘We can all change if we try,’ Nonna Rosa says. The other twononnas smile and nod.
I look at Giovanni, wondering what’s going on, but he seems as much in the dark as I am, but he’s smiling at thenonnas who have finally come together again.
‘We have decided, together,’ says Nonna Teresa, ‘that we want to make your lasagne!’
‘What?’ I’m stuck for words.
‘Yours and Marco’s. The one you made with the children’s father. His memory. Your lasagne, made with love.’
My chin moves up and down but no words come out.
Nonna Lucia says, ‘It’s not about the dish you serve it in.’
