Page 67 of A Place in the Sun
‘It’s nice to see you again, Seb,’ I find myself saying.
‘It’s nice to be here, Theally.’ I glance up in time to see thenonnas, no matter that they’re busy, give each other a look.
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‘I hope you save some for us.’ Giovanni smiles as he arrives in the cool of the dining room, just as we’re all finding seats and laying out theantipasti.
‘Of course!’ Stella turns quickly to the dresser for cutlery and plates, and lays an extra three places at the table for him, Alessandro and Enrico, who makes a beeline for Caterina and sits next to her. I notice how keen Stella is to be a part of this. I wonder what Marco would have made of it. I wonder how it would have been if he’d been here.
But I know how he would feel: he’d be proud. He’d want Stella to be part of the family. It would have been so much easier if he was here. But he’s not. It’s just me. It’s not Stella’s fault, although from the sound of it she hasn’t made it easy for people to get close to her. She’s grieving too, I remind myself. She’s lost the father shenever had, twice. Once when she’d never met him, and now when she’d hoped to get to know him.
‘Sit, sit!’ Nonna Lucia is on her feet.
‘Eat,mangiamo,’ Nonna Rosa says, from the other end of the table.
‘Try myprimo, panzanella salad,’ says Nonna Teresa ‘It is very good. I had good students.’ She smiles at the pair she was matched with. ‘Very attentive.’
‘You must learn to relax.’ Nonna Rosa pats Glenda’s arm. ‘Food is a serious business, but you have to be relaxed to do it at its best,’ I hear her say. Glenda takes another slug of wine and slides off her jacket, hanging on Nonna Rosa’s every word.
‘Sebastian, some more salad?’ Nonna Teresa offers.
‘I’ll be too full for thesecondo,’ laughs Sebastian, as she ignores him and loads his plate. I can’t help smiling. Sebastian, kind, thoughtful and steady, I think.
Nonna Teresa leans into me. ‘You look to be enjoying yourself. Something tells me you may be ready to find love again. Let someone into your life to share it.’
‘What?Scusi?’ I clear my throat. ‘I’m not …’ I hadn’t realized I was thinking about Sebastian in that way.
‘I think you may be. Time moves on. Why not think about love again?’
Giovanni smiles at me from the other end of the table, helping himself to the salad.
I try to clear my tight throat. Is that what I was thinking about? Finding love. I never thought I’d everconsider it. I thought it would be just me and the children, who are enjoying their new-found friendships, and chatting with the students. Everyone is mixing, everyone welcome. What would a new future look like if I was with someone again? I take a sneaky look at Sebastian, who has clearly charmed Nonna Teresa. Would I be happy? Would the children? He’s a good man, solid, dependable. I look again at Giovanni, who is being fussed over by Nonna Lucia.
Maybe there is another chance of happiness for me. A different life, without Marco in it. It would have to be completely different.
I regard the chattering, laughing table, and Giovanni is looking at me from the far end. My stomach flips over and back again. Oh, no … Definitely not that. I put down my wine. What was I thinking? The children and I are fine as we are. I don’t need to be with anyone else. I’m absolutely fine. I gulp my water. There is no way I can go to a man who is just like Marco, who even called mecara. I can’t work in a kitchen with a partner again. I can’t go back there.
Sebastian refills my wine glass.
‘Thank you,’ I say.
‘You’re welcome.’
We clear away thesecondo. Nonna Rosa is enjoying the compliments on her tortelli, filled with mashed potato, garlic and spinach and served in a rich tomato sauce, comforting and very tasty. When the plates havebeen wiped clean with chunks of bread and cleared away, Stella and Aimee carry through the bowls for dessert. Pietro and Luca are laughing, as they seem to be most of the time, these days.
I’m keeping my head down, confused by what happened to me when I looked along the table. The memory of what it was like to fall in love. My mind’s playing tricks on me. It’s being here, with memories of Marco, while Sebastian is staying too. I’m happy on my own. I have the children to consider. I should be thinking about them, not about life with Sebastian before I met Marco, and what might have been if I hadn’t met him. Or what life might be like with Sebastian, now we’re older, wiser, enjoying a comfortable partnership. Someone to share meals with. A sunset. A crossword clue.
Now I’m sounding really old. I smile to myself.
‘Just like the old times.’ Sebastian is standing next to me at the sink, looking out at the setting sun, holding a pile of plates from the table.
And for a moment, it’s how it feels, just like old times, when crowds of us would go out for long dinners after work. Only then there weren’t children to get up for, or an empty bank account, or the continual worry about what to do next that dogged me, my feet paddling like a duck’s under water, as I tried to keep us afloat.
‘It’s a lifetime ago,’ I say to Sebastian, as he puts down the plates.
‘Not to me it isn’t, Thea,’ he says softly. ‘Seems like yesterday.’
My cheeks colour. I stare into the sink and try to come up with a means of escape from the conversation. I need time to think. Is he saying what I think he’s saying? Maybe we could …
