Page 65 of A Place in the Sun
‘Rustic and authentic!’
‘Too early for a drink?’
I hear the general chatter but am staring at one person. ‘I …’ I’m in shock. Sebastian Thornberry is here, in Italy. ‘I’m fine. This is so weird!’ I laugh.
‘Isn’t it? It’s been a while.’
I see Giovanni arrive at the back of the group and make his way towards me.
‘Buongiorno, ciao,’ he greets everyone. ‘Hey,’ he says, ‘just thought I’d check on how you’re doing. That you don’t need me.’
‘Checking I’m up to the job.’ I smile back, still flustered by Sebastian’s arrival in rural Italy.
‘Bit different from our trip to Venice, eh?’
‘Yes.’ Then, facing Giovanni, I draw a deep breath to calm myself.
‘You’ve got this,’ he says. ‘I know you have.’ And his eyes tell me he really thinks I have. Just for a moment, I want to stay there, with him looking at me, believing in me.
Then I remember what I’m supposed to be doing rather than admiring Giovanni’s soft green eyes, or staring at Sebastian’s familiar face. Despite the extra lines, the thinner hair, it’s still the same Sebastian. The man I met by the photocopier. The same Sebastian who wined and dined me, took me to his family home in the countryside and to Paris to propose. All of this BM, Before Marco.
I try to refocus on the rest of the group, but my eyes are drawn back to Sebastian, who is looking around the dining room.
‘I’ll leave you to it and get back to Casa Luna. I have painting to get done,’ Giovanni says, and surprises me by kissing me gently on the cheek. ‘Thank you, Thea.’ He makes his way out of the dining room and I watch him go.
‘So, is this your and Marco’s new place?’ Sebastian interrupts my thoughts.
I swallow. ‘Marco died, just over two years ago now.’
His face falls. ‘Oh, Theally.’ It’s his nickname for me – and I’m right back there, twenty-something with lifestretching ahead of me. Sebastian and I had had so many plans – buying our first home, a family home in Wimbledon or Wandsworth, wedding in his parents’ village, honeymoon in the Maldives, three children, a black Labrador and a golden retriever. We’d spend Sundays on the common and have lunch at a gastro pub. Private schools for the children, early retirement to the family home and weekends by the sea. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he says.
I gather myself and try to slow down the images scrolling through my mind, like a flip book we made at school on the corners of our workbook pages, making the images move.
‘It’s okay. I’m fine, really. I’m fine.’ I focus on my customers and put myself back in hospitality mode. I know where I am there. The same can’t be said of me outside it. I don’t know where I fit any more. Here and back home, I’m not Marco’s wife now, but I’m not the Thea from Before Marco either. But front of house, with food, I know where I am and it feels good. ‘Come in, please. Help yourselves to water.’ I point to the glasses and jugs on the table and pick up a glass with shaking hands, pour for myself and down it.
‘So, you’re living out here?’ I hear Sebastian ask.
I shake my head. ‘Just here until the end of the summer. A couple more weeks. Helping out …’ I can’t think how to describe Giovanni: a stranger who helped me when I needed it, ‘… a friend,’ I say finally. ‘And you?’
‘Happily divorced. Paying out shedloads in the settlement. See the kids every other weekend and alternate holidays.’
My heart twists. None of this is where we thought we’d end up back then. We had it all mapped out. And then I met Marco and everything changed.
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
‘Ah, it could’ve been so different.’ He laughs, still the jovial good-natured Sebastian, but I think I detect a real tinge of regret in him. I turn back to the gathered group, all taking selfies. I put my hands together and the room quietens.
‘Okay, when do we open the wine?’ one of the younger members of the group pipes up. ‘I’ve come to Tuscany to eat and drink!’
‘And bond. That’s what we’re supposed to be doing,’ says Sebastian.
‘I could bond better with a drink!’
‘This place is so quaint,’ says one of the women, making me wince. But I pull back my hospitality smile.
‘So, yes.’ I clear my throat. ‘As you might have realized, I used to work where you do.’
‘And you’re an old friend of Sebastian?’
