Page 7 of Love In Provence
‘It’s just … the band.’
‘The one you used to be in?’
He nods. ‘Before I took over thebrocante. They are re-forming. They have a tour booked. Lots of festivalsover the next few weeks. Don’t worry, I told them I couldn’t do it.’
I smile at the thought of him playing guitar. One of the many we have in the farmhouse that arrived with him when he moved in. He has barely any time to play these days.
‘C’est dommage,’ I say. ‘A shame.’
‘They got someone else to fill in for me.’
I nod, understanding and feeling disappointed for him.
‘But that person has had an accident, broken their collar bone, so,’ he holds up the phone and taps it into the palm of my hand, ‘they have been …’ He searches for the right word.
‘Badgering you?’
‘Badger?’ He frowns. ‘You and your English words!’
I remember how language was part of the barrier between us when we first met, but also part of the attraction.
‘They are chasing me to join them on the tour. They cannot find anyone else.’
I can see he’s disappointed, but resigned.
Suddenly I have a flash of, I don’t know, inspiration or maybe madness. I think of Henri, how quickly his time was over. Gone. Just like that. The lights have gone out.
‘Well, can’t you go?’
‘What?’
I start to warm to the idea. ‘Just for a bit? Until they find someone else? You’d love to play with them again, wouldn’t you? You often talk about those days. What is it they say? You only regret the things you don’t do.’
He laughs. ‘No, I’m needed here. We have thebrocanteand the harvest. And now with Henri … there will be a funeral.’
The mention again of Henri’s passing makes me even more determined that we should seize the day. I don’t know if I’m feeling crazy because I’m sad, in shock or angry, but I suddenly feel really strongly about this. ‘You should go!’ I say urgently.
‘What? No!’ He shakes his head. ‘We have too much on. You can’t do it all by yourself!’
‘You loved playing in the band. It was one of the happiest times of your life. You told me!’
He tucks my hair behind my ear. ‘Before meeting you, of course.’
‘Of course!’ I smile.
‘That was then, when I was younger. Things are different now.’
But he shouldn’t be held back because of me or the farm.
‘Fabien. You should go. Text them. Even if it’s just until they find someone else.’ I point at the phone.
‘That’s mad!’ He laughs. And I feel a little mad. Just like I did when I decided not to return to the UK withOllie. But it was absolutely the right thing to do. I’ve never regretted it. What if Fabien doesn’t go and spends his life regretting it?
‘Look at Henri! It took his first heart attack to make him realize he had to live life for the now. We have to grab life with both hands! We only live once!’
He’s staring at me as if I’ve gone actually mad now, and that’s a little how I feel. I’m furious that Henri isn’t here. He’s gone. And there was so much more he and Rhi wanted to do. They’d only just met and got going on life. Now Rhi is here, left behind, lost without him.
‘He’d want you to go. Henri would be the first person to tell you to do it. I can just hear him telling you to live your best life.’
