Page 9 of Love In Provence
‘Yes! Exactly! You’re seizing the day,’ I say, barely able to breathe.
‘I love you!’ he says into my hair, kissing the top of my head.
‘And I love you,’ I say, slowly releasing him.
‘I’ll be back for Henri’s funeral,’ he says, and turns to go inside.
‘Just don’t stay away too long,’ I add quietly, so that only Rhi can hear me as doubt tumbles in and he heads to the stairs. What if I can’t do this? What if I can’t do everything I need to do?
‘That was good of you,’ says Rhi.
I hold the back of my hand to my mouth and nose, wondering what on earth I’ve done. But I know it’s the right thing. We have to grab our moments.
‘You want him to be happy.’
I nod a lot, unable to speak.
Suddenly there’s a cry from inside the house, one of the children.
‘Del!’ Louis calls out.
Rhi smiles. ‘You’re needed.’
Inside, Stephanie is trying to tidy and go to work, get Tomas to school and Louis to childcare, and the children are squabbling. I step in to sort out thequarrel over who gives Ralph his morning biscuit. He has two, just to make things fair. By the time Stephanie is ready to leave in the van, with the children ready, Fabien is back downstairs with a battered old holdall and his favourite blue guitar. I explain to her that Fabien has to go away for a bit, but he’ll be back soon, in time for the funeral. A little taken aback, she and the children kiss him through the van window and she sets off for town.
I walk with Fabien to his truck. ‘I’ll leave it parked by thebrocante,’ he says. ‘The tour bus will pick me up there.’
I gaze up at him as he wraps his arms around me. I wish we’d made more time for each other before now. I wish I hadn’t been too tired last night. I wish we could have comforted each other. I’d thought we’d have time tonight.
‘I could stay,’ he checks. ‘I don’t have to do this! It was a crazy idea, but it doesn’t have to happen.’
‘There’s nothing you can do here to make this situation better. I’ll find out about a service or funeral. In the meantime, the pickers will be here. Henri would be furious if he’d stopped you doing this. You have to go.’
He nods. I know he feels the same. Just sitting around here waiting for a service to be organized isn’t going to help. Doing this will make him feel he’s still alive, when his friend isn’t.
‘I said I’d leave as soon as I could,’ he says.
‘Yes, of course,’ I say, patting his chest softly. ‘You need to be on your way.’
‘Come with me!’ he says, his eyes wide with excitement once more.
‘What?’
‘Come with me on the tour. You and me, on the road!’
I can’t help but laugh. ‘Fabien, the pickers! I can’t just go!’
‘Ask Stephanie to look after them maybe.’ He tilts his head and I know he’s clutching at straws.
‘I can’t. She has so much on with baking for the restaurants, the market stall, the little ones to look after and get to school and childcare. And she needs me. She’s still in shock about Henri as much as the rest of us. And there’s Rhi.’
He nods.
‘I know, I know.’ He kisses me. ‘You are good to them all.’ Then he looks me straight in the eyes. ‘Will you be okay? You need to take care of yourself too. It’s not just the others who will miss him.’
‘I’ll be fine. I have Rhi here to help. The harvest will be a good distraction for us, just like you going on tour will be for you.’
Suddenly doubt taps me on the shoulder again.
