Page 56 of Love In Provence
None of us knows what to say. I put a hand on her shoulder.
Ed runs in from the outdoor kitchen. ‘There’s a food blogger, Lulu Likes. She’s in the area and has seen the Facebook page. She’s coming to eat tonight! At Henri’s pop-up!’
We’re all momentarily distracted from Maria. Suddenly the pop-up feels real for the first time. We’re doing it.
I look at my phone. ‘He’s right!’
‘There’s loads of interest,’ he adds.
‘Perhaps we should have done a booking system,’ I say.
‘Well, we didn’t know. We’ll just have to find more chairs.’
‘And make more bouillabaisse,’ says Maria, distracted as well.
‘Are you sure?’ I ask. ‘If you need to go after him …’
‘It looks like I’m needed here. He’ll have to come back and find me if he wants me.’
‘Ifyouwanthim,’ says Jen.
And I see Maria snatch another look at Ed.
‘It’s okay to realize something isn’t right, y’know,’Jen continues. ‘I wish I’d had the guts to understand that. I should have tried to go back to my first husband, tried to find a way to make it work, not keep going with a relationship that was making me unhappy until it was too late. He left me, and my first husband had moved on. There was no way back. It’s okay for it not to be okay,’ she says.
We surround Maria in a group hug.
‘I’m not going anywhere right now,’ she says.
‘I’m not sure we could have done this without you,’ I say.
‘You would have. You have Jen and Ed.’ She sniffs.
‘We have a supper club to prepare for.’ Keith has rallied.
And with that, Maria stands. ‘Actually, there’s something I’d like to say.’
We hold our breath.
‘I came here, travelling to find out who I was … where my roots are. But it’s not about where your roots are, it’s where you choose to put them, isn’t it? Since I’ve been cooking here, it’s like my wings were hidden and now I’ve found them. It’s not about a place I want to be, maybe just about being me.’
We hug her again and head into the kitchen to prepare our ingredients. Graham and Keith are heading down to thebrocante. Before they leave, Keith says, ‘He’ll come back. He’d be a fool not to.’
‘I think maybeIwas a fool, kidding myself we stillhad a life together. We’ve become different people – well, I have. I was just too busy trying to find myself to realize it. Now, let’s get cooking,’ says Maria, with a smile and a hug from Keith. They move as one to the kitchen.
‘You know your side dish? I think you could lose some ingredients,’ Jen says softly to Maria. I’ve never seen Jen like that: it’s as if she’s leading from behind. I love it. ‘Keep it simple. Just let it be you,’ she says.
I hold my breath, hoping she hasn’t scared Maria off, making her decide to chase after Marco.
‘Just be me?’ Maria wonders.
Jen nods. ‘Beautiful, just the way you are. You don’t need to try so hard,’ she tells her and Maria gives a wider smile. I allow myself to breathe again.
22
I’m so nervous that my hands are shaking. I don’t know why. I’ve been working as a cook in this town, just down that lane, for three years! At ‘l’expérience’ as it’s now called. It will always be Henri’s to me. I look down the pretty lane, with cream stone buildings either side and wisteria clinging to its walls, to where the olive tree once stood. All trace of it has gone, with the sign that used to hang over the bistro door.
I take a deep breath.
