Page 78 of Coming Home to Winter Island
‘Never more so,’ I tell her.
‘You don’t fancy the yoga retreat idea then?’
‘No, Mum. I’m staying put right here.’
‘Well, I know your dad would have been happy about that,’ she says, and smiles as far as her Botox will let her. ‘I have to go. The minibus is going to give us a lift to the ferry.’
‘Don’t leave it another thirty-five years before you come back and visit.’
‘I won’t. I’m very proud of you,’ she says quietly, and tears spring to my eyes once more.
‘Jess?’ I turn to her, and she hugs me.
‘Looks like I’m a band member down, and those are blooming big boots to fill!’
‘You don’t mind?’
‘I told you, you have to do what’s right for you.’
‘Yeah,’ the others agree.
‘You’ve got to follow your heart,’ Moira adds, and I suddenly realise she is looking longingly at Gwilym and he back at her. This place really does make you see what’s right in front of you!
‘As long as we can come along as the support band when you record “Gingle Bells”!’ Jess says.
‘Deal!’ and we all hug again.
The care home people are getting ready to go, busy saying goodbye.
‘Um, has anyone seen Lachlan?’ I look around.
‘Talking of doing what feels right for you...’ Jess raises an eyebrow. ‘I saw him leave, just after the helicopter took off.’
I turn and run up to the attic, but it’s empty. All his belongings are gone. He must have been packed already.
He thinks he has to go now! I realise. Now that the distillery’s up and running. I have to stop him! I turn and hurtle back down the stairs.
Chapter Forty-eight
Hector is fast asleep in his chair, and I’m not surprised after all that singing and excitement. I slip on the first pair of wellingtons I can see by the back door, and Douglas is up and beside me. Rhona stays close to Hector’s chair.
‘Good girl!’ I tell her, and she looks at me as if letting me know she’s there to keep watch over him.
I pull the back door open. There are still locals milling around in the dining room, and the gin is flowing just the way Hector would want it to be. Everyone is in celebratory mood. Everyone except me, it seems. None of this seems right without Lachlan here as a part of it. Tears fill my eyes, and running is made twice as hard by my blurry vision and the whiteness outside. The snow is falling heavily now, the wind picking up and starting to swirl it. I stumble to the distillery to see if he’s there in his usual place, looking over the big still. I throw the door open hoping with all my heart to see him checking on his creation.
‘Lachlan!’ I call out, but the place is empty and dark. I know he’s not there. He’s gone. He couldn’t bear to stay another moment; like ripping off a plaster, the quicker he did it, the quicker the hurt would pass. I dip out of the distillery and close the heavy door, as heavy as my heart. The one person who should be here to celebrate is him. I’m not sure I can even do this without him.
I turn to look at the bay and hold my face to the cold, feeling the sting of snowflakes on my cheeks and lips. I put my head down and run to the harbour, back to where I arrived only six weeks ago, just in time to see the ferry leaving in a wash of white horses. I put my hand up.
‘Stop! Lachlan! Come back!’ I shout as the snow falls all around me. ‘I can’t do this without you! I love you!’ But no one is listening.
The ferry gives a cheery toot on its horn and many of the old folk wave back at me as it powers off towards the mainland. Slowly I lower my hand and watch it go, Douglas sitting at my side.
Then, with the snow swirling, twisting and tumbling all around me, I turn and set off again. I’m stumbling and tripping but I can’t stop; I need to keep moving. I take my usual route around the island, following the burn, running as fast as the thick layer of snow on the ground will let me, trying to escape the voice in my head telling me how I’ve messed up. I should have told him when I first realised how I felt about him. I should have told him I didn’t want him to go!
I run faster, tears falling from my eyes as I see the croft in the distance and wonder what will happen to it now. This was Lachlan’s family home. I draw closer, then pause. My vision is blurred with tears and snowflakes, but it looks like...I squint to try and see better...it looks like...and my heart suddenly leaps and twists all at the same time. It looks like the door is open.
Chapter Forty-nine
