Page 69 of Coming Home to Winter Island
‘And the strange messages in the band group chat...all those GIFs and smiley faces!’ says Moira.
‘What? Of course I’m going to leave!’
‘And to see if you’re going to come back to the band,’ Jess adds. ‘I know what I said, but well, I was just, y’know, hurt. And I know you and Joe aren’t...any more. But that’s no reason for us to stop trying to succeed, achieve our goals!’ She smiles.
I can’t think what to say to her. I think about Joe.
‘How is Joe?’ I say, my throat tightening.
She shrugs. ‘Looks like you weren’t the only one keeping secrets. Joe likes to hedge his bets by all accounts. Sorry, Rubes. I should’ve told you. He and Lulu have been looking fairly close lately.’
‘Yeah, he thinks he’s found the winning lottery ticket this time!’ says Moira, and Gwilym nudges her sharply in the ribs.
‘It’s fine,’ I say, but I realise that’s exactly how I felt, like I was Joe’s winning lottery ticket. Clearly, when he saw he might not be able to cash in on me, he transferred his attention to Lulu. I should have seen it coming. It was only being here that made me view our relationship more clearly. There was nothing else in it other than my career. And when that looked like it was gone, Joe moved on.
‘How long?’ I manage to ask.
‘Think it started Christmas Eve,’ says Ali, and I remember Joe being out on Christmas morning, getting ‘a few bits’. I feel angry, but actually relieved too. It hurts, really hurts, but I know it’ll get better. I swallow, hard.
‘I think,’ I say slowly, ‘it really is time Joe got a dream of his own.’ I gaze out at the snowflakes falling. ‘But that’s for him to find out.’ I look back at Jess, my oldest friend, and the others. ‘It’s so good to see you!’ I say, enveloping them in a group hug. ‘It means everything to me that you’ve come!’
But as I hug them, I see they’re not alone. ‘Mum?!’ I say, looking over Jess’s shoulder. My mum is standing there, case by her side, looking around like she’s stepped out of the Tardis and gone back in time. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Came to see you, darling!’
‘More likely you could sniff out the gin!’ I laugh, and so does she. It feels so good hearing her laugh.
‘Well, this place certainly hasn’t changed! Certainly not for the better...If anything, it looks like the land that time forgot. Can’t imagine why you’ve got yourself stuck here. I came to see if it really was as I remembered. And to check on you, of course!’
She turns back to me and she too pulls off her sunglasses. What is it with people from the city and sunglasses? I think. You don’t get to take in half as much if you’re always wearing shades.
‘Well, are we just going to stand on the doorstep? This cold will do my voice no good, you know, and I have a cruise show in a week’s time! I say a show; actually they want me to run karaoke night, but they’ll want me to perform, they always do!’ She steps past Jess, balancing her big sunglasses on top of her solid black curly hair, hairsprayed to within an inch of its life, and kisses me lightly on both cheeks, the hairspray catching in the back of my throat and making me cough.
‘You should have come to stay with me. You could have come to me on the ship, or we could’ve stayed with friends in Spain. I’d’ve done yoga with you on the beach, taken you through your exercises. What’s Tenerife got that a few weeks with your own mother wouldn’t have solved? In fact, it’s given me an idea about setting up a singing centre of my own. Just need to find the backing!’ She steps into the hall, clutching her huge handbag over her coat and a sparkly shawl on top of that.
Jess follows, stamping her feet and blowing into her hands, as do the rest of the band.
‘We were going to stop and have something to eat at the café, but it was full of a party from an old people’s home that came over on the ferry with us.’
Island View! My heart skips a beat. They came! Somebody at least came!
‘Well, look, as you’re here,’ I say, ‘there are rooms made up upstairs. We had guests the other night, when there was a big storm. Burns Night, when we piped in the haggis. Dreadful weather. Great night. The weather here can change four times in a day! But it helped fill the mountain spring, where the water for the gin comes from, filtered over some of the oldest rock on the planet.’
Jess, the band and my mum all look at me.
‘What?’ says Moira.
‘Definitely got under your skin!’ my mum and Jess say together.
‘Definitely time you came home,’ adds Jess.
‘Come in.’ I manage to smile. ‘The fire’s lit. Just going to do the one here in the hall. And now that you’re here, I could really do with a hand. My cleaning help has...gone down with something. Actually, she’s...’ I hear my voice start to crack, and I falter.
‘What?’ says my mum, concerned.
Jess puts her arm around me. ‘What is it?’
‘I don’t think they’re coming. I don’t think anyone’s coming. They think I’ve let them down.’
