Page 59 of Coming Home to Winter Island
‘Well,’ says Jess, a little frostily, ‘from what I’ve seen, your voice is fully back to how it was. In fact, better than I’ve ever heard you!’
‘What? What do you mean?’ I’m confused.
‘Rubes, if you’re going to put stuff up online, you should realise that everyone is going to see it. Thatiswhat you were hoping, isn’t it, that everyone would see it? But I get it, you think Lulu’s doing a great job. You don’t want to come back for the gig. Just let me know by the end of the month what you want to do, whether you still want to be a part of this band.’
And that’s it: she hangs up and I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face. I look down at my phone, and with shaking hands access my voicemail. Joe’s voice barks in my ear.
‘Unless you get back to me immediately and tell me what’s going on and where you are, Rubes, that’s it! I don’t know what’s going on, with you, with you and me, but I can’t believe you’ve made me look such a fool! I mean it. Call me. We need to work out how to sort this mess out! If I don’t hear from you by the end of the day, if you’re not back as soon as you can, it’s over. You’re making an idiot out of me.’
He knows I’m not in Tenerife. I have no idea how, but he knows. He knows I lied to him. I feel terrible. I need to ring him and explain. But first I need to work out exactly what I’m going to say. I need to tell him how I feel. I have to be honest with him. I also need to know how he found out I’m not in Tenerife.
Chapter Thirty-four
‘You knew, didn’t you! You knew I was trying to keep it quiet about me being here. You knew I was scared about whether I could sing again. You knew...everything! And yet you went ahead and did it without asking me!’ I say as I march towards Lachlan.
‘Ah, there you are, Mairead. Now there’s no need to go getting all hot and bothered. We’re just going to walk the dogs. Check the stags...’ Hector is pointing around with his stick, and then loses his train of thought.
I look back at Lachlan.
‘So you’ve seen it?’ His eyes light up and he smiles one of his rare smiles.
‘Seen it?! How could you? How could you do that without asking me?’ I fume. ‘I trusted you! Sing as if no one is listening, you kept saying.’
‘Exactly! And it worked!’ Lachlan smiles again, his cheeks ruddy in the cold morning air. He bangs his gloved hands together and swings his arms to keep warm. ‘You’re singing again...without any trips to Tenerife and your healing thingy.’
‘But that’s not the point, is it?!’
Lachlan throws his hands up and turns away, clearly not wanting to talk about this. Hector wanders back into the house.
‘Ah, good walk,’ he says, taking off his hat and coat.
‘No, wait, Hector,’ I say, looking after him. But he’s taken himself off to his chair.
‘Now see what you’ve done!’ says Lachlan.
‘What I’ve done?! You’re the one who’s done this, not me!’
‘I was just trying to help, that’s all.’ He lets out a long exasperated sigh. ‘You wanted to sing again. You wanted to “get back to where you were”.’ He uses two fingers for speech marks. ‘You needed to get back to your band and try and get a record deal.’
‘Yes, all those things!’ I say.
‘So what’s the problem? Don’t you think you sound good enough?’
‘Yes...’ I say, grappling to find the words to tell him why I’m right and he isn’t. ‘I think I sound better than I’ve ever sounded, in fact,’ I say reluctantly.
‘Well then.’ He throws his hands up in the air again. ‘Now, are we going for this walk or not? I have a trial batch of gin distilling that I need to get back for.’
‘Without the final ingredient?’ I ask, distracted.
He shrugs. ‘I thought I’d try. I’ve already had one go. It’s what I do: try and make things work. They don’t always turn out quite right, though.’ He looks at me, and I feel a buzz of excitement leap up and down my body. ‘I’m sorry. I was just trying to create some interest. I thought you sang beautifully, and I thought it might bring in some more investors.’
I sigh. ‘We’re not going to make it, are we?’
‘I don’t think so, no.’ He shakes his head. And all of a sudden I want to hug him, and for him to hug me back. Everything we’ve worked so hard for...‘We’re just not getting enough investors, and even if we were, we can’t do what we promised. We can’t give them an exclusive bottle of original Teach Mhor gin. We haven’t got all the ingredients!’
He reaches forward and puts his hand around the back of my neck and draws me to him. I resist at first. I can’t let myself fall for this man. I’m going soon. But where to? Joe clearly feels I’ve betrayed him, and yet...I feel I’ve finally been true to myself. I need to speak to him.
I look up. ‘Where will you go?’ I ask. ‘When you leave here?’
